I am studying in the S.Y.B.A. I am a very shy girl and prefer to be alone most of the time. I have always been like this right from a young age. My best friend and I are always together and have liked it that way. She is very outgoing and loves to roam. Coming to college we have made new friends but I don’t feel comfortable with them. They are very nice (boys and girls) but they like to roam a lot and go to the movies and all. My problem is that somehow I can’t make myself go with them. They are very fun loving and I enjoy their company in college but whenever they plan to go out, even if it’s a holiday, I cannot bring myself to go with them. If it is their birthday I make an excuse and tell them I can’t make it. Because of this I dread going to college every day. I cannot share my feelings with anyone. I would really like to be like them or at least outgrow my shyness and mix with them.
What you are experiencing is not just shyness but a deeper problem: fear of intimacy in relationships, a sense of inferiority and low self-esteem. The reasons for that could be in your upbringing and the relationship you had with your parents and other family members. Unfortunately you do not give any information on your family background. I advise you to share your feelings with a college counsellor, a trusted lecturer or close family friend in order to try to understand why you cannot be a “fun-loving” teenager like your college friends.
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