I am in Class 11 and I have a girlfriend. She likes to hang out with boys all the time except with me, i.e., she talks to other boys a lot. But I know that she is serious about me. I don’t want her to go around with or talk with other boys… is this correct or am I being very possessive?
You feel insecure when your girlfriend talks more to other boys. You would like her to stop doing this, however, you are worried that you are being very possessive’. Perhaps you fear that she may leave you? Or that you’re not good enough? If unresolved, this can lead to suspicion and trust issues between the two of you.
You say that your girlfriend likes to hang out with boys all the time except with you and yet you say that you know that she is ‘serious about you. If she spends more time with other boys at present than with you and you are aiming for a long-term relationship, both need to be okay with it, or you both need to evaluate where your relationship is going.
Reflect on what are your fears and be clear on what will make you feel secure. Also reflect on what you want your relationship to be like; how much time you’d like together, what is okay and what is not okay. Then ask for time and share your feelings with her, discuss and come to a mutual agreement about how what will work best for you both and what you both will do to enhance your relationship. Also take steps to enhance your own self esteem.
If insecurity has been plaguing you for some time and it persists, do connect face-to-face with a counsellor who will help you to process your feelings so that you enjoy happier relationships.
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