My elder daughter is in class VIII and younger one in class III. Nowadays, when I read news reports about young school students and even mothers committing suicide because of bad performance in exams, I become very upset. How can parents keep a constant tab on their child’s mood? My second worry is, even if parents are not pushy, the school – including teachers and peers – forces them into thinking that way. I remember that in the first year of our elder child’s school we were quite carefree and thought that the child would learn at her own pace. But soon complaints started coming in – if our child lagged behind in any respect. Soon we too started worrying about our child’s performance even at nursery and KG stage. True, there are exceptional stories of a child and his/her parents not bothering about academic record and the child doing very well in some creative field or the other. But what is the way out for a normal, middle class family?
I can understand your concern at parents and children committing suicide because the child did not perform well in the exams. Performing well in studies is indeed important but it is not the end of the world. What is important is that the child learns the subjects well, has a good grasp of it, is able to concentrate upon his work, completes the assignments and keeps pace with the class. If this is ensured, the performance of the child will not be below the level at which it should be. Parents should facilitate the child to do his work at his pace and to help complete whatever is expected of him or her (without doing his work for him. Parents must be alerted to any adverse changes in the child with regard to his studies, like sudden deterioration in studies, getting very poor marks in most subjects etc. Learning at one’s pace is fine, so long as the pace is in tune with the pace expected in the school and according to his age level and the class in which he studies. One need not expect a child of class III to perform at class V or VI level. If he is keeping pace with his age and class, the school will also not bother and you as parent need not worry.
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