Taking care of the family dog is a big job, one many parents want their ten- to thirteen-year-old to handle alone. They hope that caring for the dog will teach their child to be responsible and to consistently meet another creature’s needs. They also hope that the tasks involved—nurturing, feeding, cleaning, and exercising—will help their child mature and pick up valuable life skills.
In theory, that makes sense. But it’s usually a parent who ends up walking the dog on wet nights, cleaning up after it on cold mornings, putting out food, and changing the water. No matter how hard parents push, most kids don’t take full responsibility for a dog.
Some of the tasks, such as buying food and visiting the vet, are usually impossible for a child to do alone. Others, including all the walking and grooming, can seem overwhelming to kids who have a lot to think about and keep track of. A child may promise to care for his dog, but he’s only saying what his parents want to hear. He’d like to be helpful and he loves and cares about his pet, but the job is too big.
Knowing that it’s typical for ten- to thirteen-year-olds to neglect some pet-care chores may help you be more understanding of your child. Although you may be disappointed, don’t be too demanding. Harshness and threats won’t make him more responsible. Instead, he’ll feel more stressed and angry and may take out his frustrations on others.
Offer to share responsibilities. He will appreciate your help if you don’t make him feel guilty or neglectful: “Why don’t I take over the morning walk for a while, since you’re having trouble getting ready for school on time.” Ask him to do specific, short tasks: “Would you please feed the dog this morning?” Give frequent reminders: “Don’t forget to brush Spike this afternoon.” Show your appreciation: “I’m glad you played with Missy. She really needed to run around.”
Although you may be disappointed that your child doesn’t care for the dog on his own, he’ll still have the experience of chipping in and helping in a practical, necessary way. The real value of your pet is the chance it offers your family to share enjoyable times and feel more connected.
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