My mother is too religious. She has started imposing her faith on us, too. What should I do?


 



My mother is too religious. Her religiosity is only increasing by the day. It’s fine as long as she does not impose it on others. But lately she has started imposing her faith on us, too. I don’t want to hurt her religious feelings but end up saying something against her finicky ways about pooja-paath. This makes her furious and she says that I will suffer for the bad words I say about religion. I do not know how to make her see reason. Can you?



Religiosity is something which is deeply set within a person, and in some cases it borders on fanaticism. One method, which usually works in such cases is not to attack the religiosity of your mother but to sway along with it to the extent possible without using any harsh words about religion.



Another way is not to do all those religious rituals if you don’t believe in them. You can be away from home so that you avoid saying anything bad. The third way to handle this problem is to frankly tell your feelings to your mother in an affectionate manner so that you are not against anything religious. But everything has to be done within a limit.



Find out objectively and factually what your mother expects. See if it can be managed without making you feel uncomfortable. Analyse why you don’t to do what she wants you to do. Is it because it is time-consuming or is there any other reason for it. Find out if you can put your views across to her without making her upset.



If you do things in a systematic manner, I am sure your mother will not impose anything on you. Have faith in yourself and in your mother and look at things factually, objectively and not emotionally.



 



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I have a good height and figure, and I have always wanted to be a model. But my parents are strictly against it. What do I do?



I have a good height and figure, and I have always wanted to be a model. But my parents are strictly against it. We have discussed this many times. They have said it clearly that I will have to leave them if I insist on this career choice. I love them, yet I cannot give up my passion. What do I do?



As you love your parents, you must also realise that your parents too love you. If you sit down and talk it over with them, you will know their fears and apprehensions. This way you will know if you can assure them about how you will ward off problems, which according to your parents, you might face. Once this is done, I am sure your parents will agree to your chosen profession. It is up to you to talk to them and to help them understand how you can take care of yourself, and in this way allay their fears.



 



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I think my parents are heading for a divorce. I am facing immense emotional trauma and am unable to study or do anything.



I think my parents are heading for a divorce. They don’t seem to be in love. They are always fighting, talking ill of each other to relatives and friends. I am facing immense emotional trauma and am unable to study or do anything. Most of the times I hate coming back home



Your emotional trauma is understandable. One way to tackle this is to talk it over with either of your parents, who is closer to you and with whom you fee comfortable. You can put across to either of them your fears and apprehensions and your inability to concentrate on your studies due to their quarrels. Since your parents would be concerned about your performance in examinations, if you request them to postpone arguing until you complete your examinations, they may agree to do so. This itself will give them time to contemplate about the issues on which they seem to have considerable conflict. And this may perhaps make them consider postponing separation.



In our life there are many things that happen which we don’t want. But when it does happen, it is important to face it with courage and to try see how one can achieve one’s goals without being affected by events and happenings. In your case you fear that the conflict between your parents may end in divorce. It may not necessarily end so, because many people do have conflicts and arguments but stay on as they do not want to break the family and like to stay together for the sake of their children.



 



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I know that we are not rich and I cannot spend like my friends, but I feel bad because of constraints. Please help me.


 



I am an 18-years-old college student. My problem is that my friends go out for parties and spend a lot of money in eating out in restaurants etc, whereas my parents do not give me enough pocket money for freaking out. I am frustrated because I am unable to do what my friends do. I know that we are not rich and I cannot spend like my friends, but I feel bad that the good years of my life are being wasted because of constraints. Please help me.



I can understand your feelings. I also find that you are very perceptive and understanding of your dilemma. Having secured admission in a good college for higher education, you should feel proud of your achievements. I am sure you are also aware how crucial the next few years will be in building your future.



Try to look at the positive things of life. Never allow yourself to feel inferior to your friends just because you are unable to spend like them. Imagine if you do well and become a successful manager, an IT professional, an IAS officer or any dream designation that you aspire for, how much your friends would admire your achievements. Once you set a goal for yourself you will also be able to divert your mind from the artificial pleasures of your friends.



Hence, to get over these disappointments, the best thing you can do is to think positively, set a goal for yourself, work towards the goal systematically and find happiness in spending time with your parents, sister or brother and others and those who think high and have a clear goal for themselves.



 



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Career in the Merchant Navy



I am a PCM student of class XII. I want to join the merchant navy. Apart from the two merchant navy colleges in which admission is done through IIT screening, please tell me about the other colleges. Please provide information on the admission procedures and fee structures of these colleges.



Well, MERI and TS Chanakya are the best places to be if you want to join the merchant navy. But if you want to avoid the IIT-JEE, there are a few other options. The academy of Maritime Education and Training, Kanathur, Tamil Nadu, offers a number of courses. Among them in BSc Nautical Science, approved by the Director General of Shipping, Ministry of Shipping, Government of India. It is offered in collaboration with Birla Institute of Technology, Ranchi. You should have done 10+2 with PCM. Entry is on the basis of a written test and interview, sometime in June. The fee structure is high – Rs 75,000 per semester for a six semester (three-year course). The same institute also offers a four-year BE programme in marine engineering. For this, you should have cleared class XII with, at least, 60 percent marks in PCM group. The fee structure for this course too is similar. Address: AMET Campus, 135, East Coast Road, Kanathur – 603112, India Email: amet@vsnl.com



Then, there is Chidambaram Institute of Maritime Academy, that offers two courses: graduate marine engineering (GME) and diploma marine engineering (DME). The former will require you to be a BE (mechanical) or BE (naval architecture); BTech. (mechanical or naval architecture) or BSc mechanical. No other stream of engineering will be considered.



The DME course will require you to be a diploma-holder in mechanical/marine/ship building/naval architecture or electrical engineering from an institute approved by AICTE. The address is: CMET, 46, Moore Street, Chennai-600 001; cmet2@vsnl.com



The Sea Horse Academy, Kakinada, Andhra Pradesh also provides deck cadet officer pre-sea training. However, admission is done directly by the academy for sponsored candidate. The address is: Sea Horse Academy of Merchant Navy, Sambamurthy Street, Ramaraopet, Kakinada – 533 004, Andhra Pradesh.



 



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Food for thought



I am a student of class XI studying physics, chemistry, maths and biology. I really enjoy reading about health and diet issues. To become a nutrition expert, is it necessary to be a doctor? I am not sure if i could get admission to a medical college. Please guide me.



No, it is not necessary to be a doctor to be a nutrition expert. In fact, dietetics and nutrition as modules are offered at B.Sc. level and specialisation programmes at M.Sc. level in many universities, including some agriculture universities. Avinashlingam Institute for Home Science and Higher Education for Women, Coimbatore, is one of the most reputed places to study home science. In Delhi, Lady Irwin College offers BSc and MSc courses in home science. You will be eligible for admission to BSc home science programme after class XII, since you are a science student. The universities ask for science in 10+2.



 



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I am a student of history and am very interested in archaeology. Are there jobs for archaeologists that will not require travelling?



How can one become an archaeologist without being on the site? Yes, there are archaeologists who in their capacity as lecturer/professor spend a larger part of the year in colleges or university departments, but even they have to continuously upgrade their knowledge, do research work and visit various sites as part of excavations. Even people associated with various museums are on field visits as part of conservation and restoration projects. So, if you are looking for a career in archaeology, forget the comforts and cosiness of your home.



 



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My daughter writes in a very untidy way. What course of action should I take?



If your daughter is good in all other aspects related to academics, she just needs practice to write neatly. As for drawing or colouring, as long as she is able to do these tasks as required for science, drawing etc., don’t worry. However, if there is any special difficulty, you may have to consult the school psychologist or the counsellor.



 



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Memory Retention



Can you provide us tips for higher retention of what we study for exams? Can a student remember what he/she learnt in November/ December, in the month of March? Is there a way by which he would not forget the formulae?



Definitely a person can remember in the month of March, what he or she learnt in Nov/Dec (that is three or four months earlier). It depends on how well one has understood the concept and the text.



To remember what one has learnt, the only way is to understand clearly what one has studied.



As for remembering a formula etc., apart from understanding the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ of it , one must also do the following:




  • Learn the formula first. Look for some cue numbers, signs or words that you can easily associate it with.

  • Then try to recall it without seeing the text.

  • Check for any errors in recalling. Try to correct the errors and once again recall the formula.

  • Write the formula without seeing the text, after a gap.

  • Repeat this exercise again and again.

  • Thus, whatever you have memorized will remain intact in your memory.



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All at sea



I am doing my BE in electronics and power (electrical) from Nagpur. I want to join the merchant navy right after the completion of my course. Please tell me how to join the merchant navy. Are government companies included? When and where should one apply? What is the criterion? Would i have to undergo special training after BE?



Since you are doing electronics and electrical engineering, you could apply for merchant navy straight after your degree. The shipping company that recruits you will then send you for training. In fact, there are special courses at government institutes like T S Chanakya that are specially meant for cadets sponsored by shipping companies. Meanwhile, you must start looking for newspaper advertisements for vacancies in these companies. Also, do an Internet search to assess job prospects in these companies. 



 



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Take-off stage


 



I am student of class XI, studying English, economics, maths, psychological, geography and computers. Earlier, I had opted for the sciences but since I was weak in chemistry I changed my mind. I have come to know that if one has studied physics and maths at the +2 level, one could take the examination for entry to the Air Force Academy. So, if I take up physics as an additional subject instead of psychology, would it help? Can I do a BSc in physics after that? I am really keen to join the Indian Air Force or the Navy. My parents are very supportive and want me to join the defence forces. Will physics and maths help me become a pilot?



First things first. You could have continued in the science stream. If you are good in maths and physics, you could have managed to do fairly well in chemistry with some extra effort. The PCM combination would have enabled you to join a science-based course (barring life sciences) in a university of repute. Most universities demand PCM/PCB for their science courses. For BSc physics, you do need PCM.



As regards the qualifications for entry to the Indian Air Force, yes, you are right. For the graduate entry scheme to the flying branch of the Indian Air Force, only maths and physics are required at 10+2 level. Not only that, you could be a graduate in any stream.



While graduate males could be given permanent commission, graduate women are inducted only on short service commission. They cannot be fighter pilots – they can fly transport aircraft and helicopters.



Besides the flying wing, there are two other wings – technical branch and ground duty branches. Technical branches recruit engineering graduates. But you can again apply for the administrative functions, as for most functions (barring accounts, for which a B.com. is required), a degree in any stream is accepted.



 



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Biochemistry


 



I am a student of class XII. Could you tell me about the career opportunities available for students interested in biochemistry. Can you also mention some good colleges in India that offer courses in biochemistry?



I am a class XII student with PCB. I want to become a biochemist. Please describe the following aspects in detail: courses, scope of work, opportunities, salary etc. I would like to take admission in MAHE. Please tell me about the admission procedure and the courses on offer.



Biochemistry is a branch of science concerned with the chemical processes that occur within living organisms. The subject provides the link between chemistry and living organisms. Numerous processes in medicine, agriculture and forensics require a firm grounding in biochemistry in both development and application.



To pursue a graduate degree in biochemistry, one should have studied physics, chemistry, biology and maths in class XII.



Most universities and certain institutes that offer specialisation courses such as agricultural biochemistry in Indian Agriculture Research Institute New Delhi, agro-chemical in Delhi University etc offer biochemistry.



Manipal Academy of Higher Education (MAHE) offers biochemistry through two routes: after MBBS you could take up biochemistry at the MD level, or else you can study biochemistry in MSc.



MAHE was primarily a health sciences university but now has diversified into communication/ journalism, information technology, ryral studies and distance education. After class XII, you are eligible for the following courses in MAHE: MBBS, BDS, B.Pharm, B.Sc. Biotechnology, BPT (Bachelor in Physiotherapy), and BOT (Bachelor in Occupational Therapy)



You can also take admission to any of these courses after qualifying the entrance examination.



An expert in biochemistry can find employment in the following fields:




  • Medicine and health

  • Drug manufacture and design

  • Agriculture and related industries

  • Forensic science (crime lab science)

  • Professional schools.



Hot careers in biochemistry include proteomics and bioinformatics. One vcan find good jobs in pharmaceutical and biotechnological companies in India and abroad, such as Ciphergen Biosystems, Protometrix, etc.



 



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Exam fever


 



As my board exams are approaching I am becoming paranoid about them. My mind is clogged because of anxiety and I can’t concentrate on studies. Please help me tackle this problem.



It is natural to be anxious about the forthcoming board examinations. The anxiety is mainly due to the fear of not coming up to a certain standard that you and/or your parents have set for you. If you are anxious you will find that your efficiency is not as high as it ought to be because anxiety itself drains out your energy. Also, anxiety confuses you and reduces your concentration level.



The first thing that you have to do is to reduce the anxiety. This you can do by relaxation exercises. Close your eyes and take a comfortable sitting or lying position. Loosen anything that you feel is tight. Stretch yourself into a relaxed state. Keep your body loose and light, and relax all your limbs from head to toes. Take a long deep breath. Inhale and exhale slowly and completely and feel the oxygen going into your brain. Concentrate on breathing, as you breathe in and breathe out. Do this correct breathing in and breathing out technique about five times a day. This won’t take you more than five to 10 minutes. This will relax you considerably.



Remember, your mind is yours and you alone can have control over it. It is entirely in your hands, whether you concentrate or not. If you remember this and do the relaxation exercises as well as deep breathing, I am sure you will be able to concentrate and your anxiety will reduce considerably.



 



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My ward is taking her studies very casually. What should be done?


 



This is an age in which rebellion is common, especially against authoritative figures. Also try to understand the pressure your daughter must be facing, which might perhaps be ten times more than what you might be facing.



At this time, she needs your understanding, support and encouragement. When children don’t get encouragement they generally resort to rebellion. The best way to handle this problem is not to pressurize her to study all this time, depriving her of watching TV or talking on the phone with her friend. Do not keep a tab on her – whether she is studying or doing something else. Make the atmosphere at home as pleasant as you can, so that she also feel relaxed. Find out from her what are her problems with regard to her studies, coaching classes etc. Listen to her problems with an open mind, without criticizing her. Try to genuinely understand and solve her difficulties.



Remember she is also going through a lot of tension and needs a lot of understanding and support from you.



 



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Raring to Go


 



How can I go in journalism right after school?



On an average most newspapers and electronic media companies do not give a job merely on the basis of a journalism degree. Journalists are recruited from as diverse a background as Hindi literature, English literature, economics, political science, sciences, law and even sports, after they have cleared the written test and interview. Therefore, it is better to enhance your knowledge of a variety of subjects. Most of the skills of journalism - reporting, interviewing, writing and editing – are learnt on the job.



At the under-graduate level, journalism programmes are offered by universities like Delhi University, BHU, University of Mumbai, Marathwada University, Aurangabad, Goa University-Bambolin, Ahilyabai Vishwavidyalaya, Indore, Pune University, Punjab University, Chandigarh, Punjabi University, Patiala and Berhampur University.



At the post-graduate level, Makhanlal Chaturvedi National University of Journalism is reputed for its programmes. Jamia Millia Islamia, Delhi, offers an MA in mass communication. Ranchi University offers both MA and diploma programmes in journalism. Indian Institute of Mass Communication, New Delhi, and St Xavier’s Institute of Communications (XIC), Mumbai, are known for their PG diploma courses.



 



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