My Science School

At some point, every child is the victim of teasing. Classmates pick on each other: “You don’t know how to multiply yet!” “Kevin has a girlfriend!” Siblings insult each other: “You’re so dumb!” “Your ears stick out like Dumbo!” Occasional harassment is an inevitable part of growing up. However, when a child is consistently picked on at home, at school, or in the neighborhood, this is a serious situation and parents need to intervene.

Parents often have mixed feelings when their child is regularly picked on or bullied: “Is he really so different from the others?” They wonder if they could have shaped his personality differently. Should they have put more emphasis on fighting back? They may wish their child could tolerate a “normal” amount of teasing or stick up for himself: “It’s a tough world out there and you have to learn to get along.” Sometimes his predicament stirs up unhappy memories for them: “I used to get picked on for being short.”

Despite their feelings, a child who’s picked on needs his parents' help. If he’s teased too often, his self-esteem will be affected. He may come to view himself as his peers do and believe he deserves to be bullied. Then his behavior will encourage other children to continue taking advantage of him.

Sometimes he actually invites bullying as a way to get attention. If he feels unlikable or friendless, he may believe any recognition is better than none. He might laugh at himself because he sees no other way out: “See, I’m fat as a pig.”

More often, kids are singled out because they’re vulnerable or perceived to be different. A child may be picked on because of his weight, height, hair style, clothing, lack of athletic ability, or interest. He may be picked on simply because he lacks strong defenders and is therefore an easy target.

Why do any children look for a victim? In some cases, the ones who pick on others have never been consistently reminded to think or care about another person’s feelings. In other cases, they may be strong competitors who need to feel bigger and better at everything. Often, kids who bully others are themselves bullied at home. They may be put down by harsh or inflexible parents or attacked by siblings. Feeling powerless, they seek release by treating someone else as they’ve been treated.

 If your child complains about being picked on, first reassure him: “No one likes to be teased. You wouldn’t treat someone that way because you know how bad it feels.” Let him know that you won’t just leave him to fend for himself. Then together, find ways to make the situation better.

Gather as much information as you can. If you suspect he’s being victimized, but find him reluctant to discuss it, talk to him about hypothetical cases or your own experiences: “Sometimes kids make fun of someone just because she likes different things.” “When I was your age, some boys used to tease me on the bus.”

Ask your child how he thinks he might solve his problem. He may come up with usable ideas: tease back, walk away, tell the teacher or another adult, or get a friend to help out. If he’s worried that defending himself will get him into more difficulties, discuss his fears: “What do you think will happen if you tease Bonnie back?” Offer encouragement: “I think if you ignore Matthew’s teasing, it will make him uncomfortable. He’ll probably get tired of bothering you if he doesn’t get any attention for it.”

Role playing may be an effective method of problem-solving. Create situations similar to your child's: “Imagine I’m Jimmy and I say, ‘you stink at throwing ball.’ What can you do or say to stop me from repeating things like that?”

If he’s picked on at school, you should contact his teacher. She may not be aware of what’s going on, particularly if your child is harassed on the bus or during lunch or outdoor play.

When neighborhood kids tease your child, you can deal with them directly. Watch closely and set limits on their behavior: “You’ll have to stop bothering Phillip.” “If you want to play here, you can’t pick on these kids.” If there’s an opportunity, you can talk to seven- to nine year-olds about what it feels like to be picked on and suggest ways they can control their behavior.

You also may want to call the parents of a child who consistently bullies. They may be unaware of their child’s actions. Although the discussion might be awkward, work at trying to gain the parents’ cooperation: “I hope we’ll be able to help each other out.”

While you’re helping your child deal with his harassers, encourage him to form new friendships. If he’s secure in a circle of friends, he’ll be less vulnerable to teasing.

If your child continues to be picked on, you probably need to examine the relationships in your family. Does your child allow himself—or do you allow him—to be picked on by his siblings? If so, he may similarly allow himself to be picked on by his peers. Are all people in your family treated equally and with respect? Are put-downs common at home? Are you available to notice family interactions? Do you stress harmony in the family? Are you tolerant of differences among your children? Do you point out your child’s strengths and compliment his abilities? Is there too much stress in the home?

If you’ve tried a number of strategies without success, you may finally have to consider some big changes to remove him from harassment. One couple moved to a new neighborhood with more compatible families and found their child was much happier. Another family, unable to affect the behavior of a group of school bullies, put their daughter in a new school. The mother said, “It felt like we gave her a new start in life.”

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Schools, parents, and the media try to give children a clear message—drugs are bad. Children hear, “Just say no to drugs,” and “Drugs can kill you.” Six- to nine-year-old accept the message without question and declare, “I’ll never take drugs!” “You’ll go to jail.” “It’s against the law.” With few exceptions, they have no internal conflict about drugs, they don’t experiment, and they don’t face peer pressure to try drugs. They’re very aware of what’s right and wrong and they even know that drinking and driving don’t mix. One child, seeing a passing motorist sipping from a beer can, urged his parents to write down the license-plate number and call the police.

It’s easy for a young child to say no to the idea of drug use. What parents need to consider is what will happen when their child gets older and is confronted with peer pressure and opportunities. Parents hope that early warnings will keep their child out of trouble, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case. However, they should do all they can now to help their child reject impulsive experimentation later.

First, they should behave in ways they want their child to adopt. Too many parents say, “Don’t use drugs,” and then condone, use, or abuse alcohol or drugs themselves. They need to set a good example. If they drink frequently, kids will accept that as normal behavior. If they smoke, their children may smoke when they get older. Certainly if parents use drugs, their child will be confused about their warnings. Parents may try to hide alcohol or drug abuse, but he will eventually discover the truth. Then he may not only copy their actions, but feel anger and distrust toward them for deceiving him.

At some point, as you deal with the issue of drug abuse, your child may ask if you’ve ever used drugs. If you haven’t, you can comfortably answer the question, perhaps starting a discussion: “What made you curious?” “What did you think I’d say?”

If you did use drugs in the past, this isn’t the time to give your child the details. Perhaps you can share more when he’s older, but at this point simply give your message that drug use is unacceptable. Telling him anything more will greatly increase the risk that he’ll eventually do as you once did.

Keep the lines of communication open. While your child might be enrolled in an elementary school drug education program, don’t count on that to keep him safe. These programs are often ineffective because they’re aimed at young children who are already convinced that drugs are bad. Programs for pre-adolescents and teens tend to be more successful because they target kids who are actually exposed to drug culture and who are much more cynical about laws and prohibitions.

Your child needs your continuing guidance and support to resist drugs. Answer his questions and talk about the dangers of drug use. Your child will hear about political leaders, celebrities, and sport stars who’ve been arrested for drug possession or who’ve died of overdoses; he may be very upset if he admired one of them. Use these occasions to talk about the reasons for drug use and the alternatives people can choose.

As your child grows, you can help him avoid drugs by staying involved and encouraging him to feel good about his abilities and character. There’s value in a strong ego. A positive self-image gives preteen or teenager strength to resist peer influences and comfortably say no to drugs.

During the early elementary years, you’ll have few actual worries about drug use. But don’t ignore the potential problem. As he reaches the pre-adolescent years, keep talking to your child, reinforcing the anti-drug messages he hears, and helping him become strong enough to resist temptation when he encounters it.

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Many parents would like to avoid discussing AIDS with their child. However, kids are aware of the disease. They hear about it on TV and radio, they see stories about it in papers and magazines, and they hear adults and other children talk about it. They’ve heard that AIDS Patients die. They also believe the disease is mysterious, since they aren’t sure why or how people get it. This makes AIDS scary to them.

When you talk to your child about AIDS, you have the difficult task of presenting accurate information without making her unnecessarily frightened. Since children are not likely to pick up the disease, you can be honest but reassuring about her chances of exposure.

Let her ask questions and tell you what she already knows about the illness. Some of her information may be very inaccurate. Some of her questions may be too complex for you to answer without doing some research. Still, open communication is the best way to ensure that she forms a realistic idea of the disease.

She may believe that AIDS is as easy to catch as chicken pox or a cold. Let her know that all viruses are not alike, and that AIDS is very difficult to contract. Give details you consider appropriate for her level of maturity: “People who have the virus in their bodies sometimes pass it on to others.” “Doctors can check people’s blood to see if they have the disease.” “There are things people can do to make sure they don’t get AIDS.” Explain that AIDS is passed on mainly through sex and through drug users’ needles.

Your child will feel less concerned about AIDS if she can discuss it with you. If she doesn’t mention the disease on her own by the time she’s nine, you might want to bring it up as part of a general discussion of health, safety, sex, and growing up. There are good children’s books on the subject that you and she can read together. It also might help her to know that doctors and researchers are actively looking for ways to prevent and cure AIDS.

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“How was I made?”

“Where did I come from?”

Children’s understanding of sex and childbirth changes greatly between the ages of six and nine. Six-year-olds are still egocentric thinkers with personal opinions about how things work. They may reject the facts of life in favor of their own ideas about sex. Eight- and nine-year-olds can accept others’ thoughts and are better able to understand sex and birth.

Learning about sex is gradual. It begins early, with a child’s first feelings about his body. The way his parents respond when he’s learning to use the toilet, when he touches his genitals, and when he asks questions about his body contributes to his self-image and sense of sexuality.

By the early elementary years, all children have some information about sex. They’ve heard it from their parents, their older siblings, their friends, or characters in movies and on TV. Some are just told things, others ask. One six-year-old, watching her mother changes her seven-month-old sister’s diaper, asked, “So how did you get pregnant, anyway?” Another child picked up a tampon and asked, “What’s this for?”

Parents are often startled by how much their child knows. Inevitably, kids pick up a lot by talking and joking with each other about sex. One boy giggled while watching kissing on TV and then explained what “French kissing” was. He’d heard about it from a classmate. A girl told her mother how babies were made: “The S word. You know, SEX! You get naked and have sex.” Her older sibling had told her.

Parents should ask, “What do you think?” to find out what their child knows. Once parents are aware of his ideas, they can decide where to start discussions and how much information to give. It’s necessary for parents to be sensitive when talking about sex. Many children are not ready for all the facts, and too much information at once can be overwhelming. A six- or seven-year-old may be confused and uncomfortable at the thought of adults engaged in sex. A six-year-old, after hearing about childbirth, said, “I’m never having a baby!” At these ages, some children can accept and understand only small doses of information. Parents should tell a little about intercourse, conception, pregnancy, and birth, and then wait for more questions before continuing.

Eight- and nine-year-old may also be embarrassed by talk of sex, but they understand more. If a child this age hasn’t asked much about sex yet, his parents can initiate a discussion. They can begin by asking what he already knows. Some of the information may be right but some may be distorted, and it’s important for parents to correct misconceptions.

The tone of these discussions is important. Parents should be discreet and respectful, never laughing at their child’s questions or comments. Children need to feel they can come to their parents for straight answers about sex. The trust established during the early years will be important throughout childhood and especially during adolescence. If a child feels reluctant to talk to his parents because he feels ashamed or fears ridicule, he’ll gradually stop bringing questions home.

Of course, even the most well-intentioned parents may feel uncomfortable discussing sex. Parents who—verbally or non-verbally—convey their reluctance to talk may inadvertently shut off communication with their child. Parents may want to read about human sexuality before answering their child’s questions. Parents also can mention the awkwardness they or the child may be feeling: “I know you’re a little embarrassed. I am too. But, in our house, it’s okay to talk about sex and ask questions.”

In addition to talking, you might try another approach to sex education - offering your child books on the subject. There are many available. Read several before selecting ones that seem appropriate, considering his age and maturity. Start with a simple book and, as needed, introduce ones that include more details. Yost can read the book with him, offer it to him, or simply leave it, where he’ll find it on his own. Then wait for questions or begin a discussion yourself.

When you talk about sex and pregnancy with your child, you may want him to keep the information from his younger siblings—they might not be ready to hear all the facts. Your older child may try to keep your discussions private, but chances are he’ll tell his siblings what he knows. He might want to share his new information with someone, and a sibling is handier than a friend. If this happens, talk to your younger child, correct misunderstandings, and offer explanations that seem appropriate. If he’s not interested, don’t press the issue. He’ll come to you at a later date with his own questions.

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All young children have some experience with death. They may have lost a pet, seen TV coverage of a tragic accident, or overheard their parents talking about death. They may have lost a family member or heard about the death of a famous person. The circumstances vary and so do children’s reactions, ranging from curiosity about the death of a celebrity to devastation at the loss of a close relative.

Whatever the circumstances, talking to a child about death is difficult for parents, especially if they themselves are grieving. They may feel overwhelmed by their own sadness and unable to meet their child’s needs.

Even when parents aren’t mourning a personal loss, their child’s questions can make them uncomfortable: “Why did he die?” “Why couldn’t the doctor make him better?” “What happens to people after they die?” Parents have no easy answers or quick assurances. In addition, speaking about death forces them to confront their own questions and fears and reminds them of their mortality.

A child reacting to a death feels many of the emotions an adult does: loss, anger, frustration, and resentment. She may feel powerless (“Why couldn’t anyone help?”) and guilty (“I wish I’d seen her more.”). She may blame herself for a death she couldn’t have prevented (“If I’d been good all the time, he wouldn’t have died”).

If your family has experienced a loss, the most important thing you can do is talk to your child and comforts her. Find out what she thinks and, if necessary, correct her misconceptions: “I know it’s sad she was sick for so long.” “No, it wasn’t your fault Grandma died.” “Your thoughts didn’t cause the accident.” Let her share her feelings, and include her in some of your family discussions about the death. She may want to talk about her fears that you or she will die.

Some children don’t talk at all about their loss. If your child shows no sign of mourning or if she seems to be coping too well, she’s probably holding her feelings in. Talk to her about the person who died and help her express her hurt and anger so her feelings don’t become overwhelming.

If she wants to attend the funeral of someone she was close to, consider letting her go, It’s better for her to be with you there than to feel excluded or frightened at home. Explain what the funeral will be like. Let her know that people will be sad and many will cry. If she doesn’t want to attend, respect her decision. One nine-year-old told her parents, “I don’t like funerals and whenever you ask me if I want to go to one the answer is NO.”

As she struggles with her feelings, remember that mourning and the feeling of loss can last for weeks, months, even years, depending on how close she was to the person who died. Let her see that you, too, are still adjusting. With time and help from you and others, such as the children’s support groups found in religious and hospice organizations, your child will gradually come to terms with her loss. Families that share difficult times often find they are stronger and closer as a result.

All of the land on Earth is divided up into seven large areas, called continents. These are North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, and Antarctica. Each continent is divided u p again into a number of different countries.

North America:

This is the third largest continent, and has the fourth-largest population. North America runs from the America runs from the Arctic down to the equator, so the climate varies a lot.

North America occupies the northern portion of the landmass generally referred to as the New World, the Western Hemisphere, or simply the Americas. Mainland North America is shaped roughly like a triangle, with its base in the north and its apex in the south; associated with the continent is Greenland, the largest island in the world, and such offshore groups as the Arctic Archipelago, the West Indies, Haida Gwaii (formerly the Queen Charlotte Islands), and the Aleutian Islands.

South America:

South America, fourth largest of the world’s continents. It is the southern portion of the landmass generally referred to as the New World, the Western Hemisphere, or simply the Americas. The continent is compact and roughly triangular in shape, being broad in the north and tapering to a point—Cape Horn, Chile—in the south.

South America is bounded by the Caribbean Sea to the northwest and north, the Atlantic Ocean to the northeast, east, and southeast, and the Pacific Ocean to the west. In the northwest it is joined to North America by the Isthmus of Panama, a land bridge narrowing to about 50 miles (80 km) at one point. Drake Passage, south of Cape Horn, separates South America from Antarctica.

Antarctica:

Antarctica, fifth in size among the world’s continents. Its landmass is almost wholly covered by a vast ice sheet.

Lying almost concentrically around the South Pole, Antarctica—the name of which means “opposite to the Arctic”—is the southernmost continent, a circumstance that has had momentous consequences for all aspects of its character. It covers about 5.5 million square miles (14.2 million square km), and would be essentially circular except for the outflaring Antarctic Peninsula, which reaches toward the southern tip of South America (some 600 miles [970 km] away), and for two principal embayments, the Ross Sea and the Weddell Sea. These deep embayments of the southernmost Pacific and Atlantic oceans make the continent somewhat pear-shaped, dividing it into two unequal-sized parts. The larger is generally known as East Antarctica because most of it lies in east longitudes. The smaller, wholly in west longitudes, is generally called West Antarctica. East and West Antarctica are separated by the approximately 2,000-mile- (3,200-km-) long Transantarctic Mountains. Whereas East Antarctica consists largely of a high ice-covered plateau, West Antarctica consists of an archipelago of mountainous islands covered and bonded together by ice.

Europe:

Europe, second smallest of the world’s continents, composed of the westward-projecting peninsulas of Eurasia (the great landmass that it shares with Asia) and occupying nearly one-fifteenth of the world’s total land area. It is bordered on the north by the Arctic Ocean, on the west by the Atlantic Ocean, and on the south (west to east) by the Mediterranean Sea, the Black Sea, the Kuma-Manych Depression, and the Caspian Sea. The continent’s eastern boundary (north to south) runs along the Ural Mountains and then roughly southwest along the Emba (Zhem) River, terminating at the northern Caspian coast.

Europe’s largest islands and archipelagoes include Novaya Zemlya, Franz Josef Land, Svalbard, Iceland, the Faroe Islands, the British Isles, the Balearic Islands, Corsica, Sardinia, Sicily, Malta, Crete, and Cyprus. Its major peninsulas include Jutland and the Scandinavian, Iberian, Italian, and Balkan peninsulas. Indented by numerous bays, fjords, and seas, continental Europe’s highly irregular coastline is about 24,000 miles (38,000 km) long.

Africa:

Africa, the second largest continent (after Asia), covering about one-fifth of the total land surface of Earth. The continent is bounded on the west by the Atlantic Ocean, on the north by the Mediterranean Sea, on the east by the Red Sea and the Indian Ocean, and on the south by the mingling waters of the Atlantic and Indian oceans.

Africa’s total land area is approximately 11,724,000 square miles (30,365,000 square km), and the continent measures about 5,000 miles (8,000 km) from north to south and about 4,600 miles (7,400 km) from east to west. Its northern extremity is Al-Gh?r?n Point, near Al-Abya? Point (Cape Blanc), Tunisia; its southern extremity is Cape Agulhas, South Africa; its farthest point east is Xaafuun (Hafun) Point, near Cape Gwardafuy (Guardafui), Somalia; and its western extremity is Almadi Point (Pointe des Almadies), on Cape Verde (Cap Vert), Senegal. In the northeast, Africa was joined to Asia by the Sinai Peninsula until the construction of the Suez Canal. Paradoxically, the coastline of Africa—18,950 miles (30,500 km) in length—is shorter than that of Europe, because there are few inlets and few large bays or gulfs.

Australia:

Australia is a continent in the Southern Hemisphere, which comprises the countries of Australia, Tasmania, Seram, New Guinea, Timor, and other neighbouring islands. It is the smallest among the seven continents of the world, and lies on a continental shelf. Shallow seas divide the continent in to the different landmasses. The Torres Strait and Arafura Sea separate the mainland of Australia and New Guinea, and the Bass Strait lies between Tasmania and mainland Australia. They were actually connected by dry land in earlier times during the time around 18,000 BC, when the sea levels were lower. It was the Pleistocene ice age then. The sea levels have risen in the past ten thousand years, and that overflowed the lands and separated the different landmasses. New Zealand is not a part of the continent of Australia, but of the separate continent of Zealandia which is submerged. Both New Zealand and Australia are parts of the wider regions well known by Oceania or Australasia.

Asia:

Asia, the world’s largest and most diverse continent. It occupies the eastern four-fifths of the giant Eurasian landmass. Asia is more a geographic term than a homogeneous continent, and the use of the term to describe such a vast area always carries the potential of obscuring the enormous diversity among the regions it encompasses. Asia has both the highest and the lowest points on the surface of Earth, has the longest coastline of any continent, is subject overall to the world’s widest climatic extremes, and, consequently, produces the most varied forms of vegetation and animal life on Earth. In addition, the peoples of Asia have established the broadest variety of human adaptation found on any of the continents.Africa: This is the second-largest continent and has the most countries. The world’s longest river and the world’s largest desert are in Africa.

 

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Rocks go through many changes over time. These are caused by different processes, such as heating, cooling, and weathering. The sequence of changes is called the rock cycle.

Igneous rock:

Igneous rocks form by the cooling of magma (molten rock material beneath the surface) or lava (molten rock material extruded onto the surface). Magma which originates at depths as great as 200 kilometers below the surface consists primarily of elements found in silicate minerals along with gases, notably water vapor. Because the molten material is less dense than the surrounding solidified rock, it works its way toward the surface where it flows out onto the surface as lava.

Cooling:

What would you do to turn a melted chocolate bar back into a solid? You'd cool it by putting it into the refrigerator until it hardens.



Similarly, liquid magma also turns into a solid — a rock — when it is cooled. Any rock that forms from the cooling of magma is an igneous rock. Magma that cools quickly forms one kind of igneous rock, and magma that cools slowly forms another kind. 



When magma rises from deep within the earth and explodes out of a volcano, it is called lava, and it cools quickly on the surface. Rock formed in this way is called extrusive igneous rock. It is extruded, or pushed, out of the earth's interior and cools outside of or very near the earth's surface. 



What if the magma doesn't erupt out of a volcano, but instead gets pushed slowly upward toward the earth's surface over hundreds, thousands, or even millions of years? This magma will also cool, but at a much slower rate than lava erupting from a volcano. The kind of rock formed in this way is called intrusive igneous rock. It intrudes, or pushes, into the earth's interior and cools beneath the surface. 

Melting:

What happens to a chocolate bar when it gets very hot? It melts.



The same thing happens to a rock when it is heated enough. Of course, it takes a lot of heat to melt a rock. The high temperatures required are generally found only deep within the earth. The rock is pulled down by movements in the earth's crust and gets hotter and hotter as it goes deeper. It takes temperatures between 600 and 1,300 degrees Celsius (1,100 and 2,400 degrees Fahrenheit) to melt a rock, turning it into a substance called magma (molten rock). 

Metamorphic rock:

Metamorphic rocks are formed by the alteration of pre-existing rocks from exposure to heat and pressure while remaining in a solid form. Metamorphism occurs by breaking bonds between atoms in a mineral so that the atoms rearrange themselves into new, more stable, mineral forms. Rocks are transformed and remain in a solid state because not all the bonds in the rock's minerals are broken - if they were the rock would melt.  Metamorphism occurs in solid rock because only some of the bonds between atoms are broken in an unstable mineral. As a result, the freed atoms and ions can migrate to another location within the mineral, or bond with atoms in a different mineral. The end result is to produce minerals that are more stable under the environmental conditions in which they exist. 

Metamorphism involves the transformation of a pre-existing rock to form new minerals and textures. The original mineral content of a rock can change in several ways. Unstable minerals like clay will breakdown and their elements will recombine to form new minerals. More stable minerals like quartz, will stay quartz but change shape and size to form a new configuration. At high temperatures, atoms and ions may move into a new orientation and bond into more stable forms. Hence, the type of minerals and its texture may change but the chemical composition of the rock itself can stay the same.

Uplift:

Understanding the idea of Uplift is the key to making sense of the rock cycle, as it allows us to see rocks that were once deeply buried beneath the surface.



If rocks did not get uplifted to form hills and mountains, then the processes of weathering and erosion would long ago have reduced much of the world’s land-masses to low-lying, flat plains. Weathering and erosion, transport and deposition would all effectively stop.

Scientists believe that, if all these active processes of the rock cycle ceased to operate, then our planet would cease to be able to support any life.



Mount Everest is made of limestone that must have originally formed on an ancient sea floor because it contains fossils of marine creatures.

Heat and Pressure:

The atoms in rocks rearrange to form bigger and heavier minerals. The combination of heat and pressure may cause the minerals in the rock to split into layers. Metamorphic rocks begin changing at temperatures of 100 degrees Celsius to 800 degrees Celsius. If you squeeze and heat a rock for a few million years, it can turn into a new kind of rock. 

The pressure comes from many layers of rock piling on top of each other, and the heat comes from magma.  It's like putting blankets on yourself - the more you layers you put on, or the more blankets you put on, the more pressure you receive because of all the weight of the layers on top of you.

Sedimentary rock:

Sedimentary rocks are those formed from the compaction and cementation of fragments of pre-existing rocks called clasts, or plant and animals remains. The exogenic processes of weathering and erosion create the raw materials for sedimentary rocks. Earth material is loosened and moved from higher to lower elevations where it is deposited as transportation agents like water, wind or gravity lose their energy to move sediment. Streams and rivers transport sediment to lakes or oceans, or deposits it on nearby floodplains where it accumulates. On land, clastic sediments consist mainly of large boulders, cobbles, gravel, sand, and silt. On the continental shelves at the margin of continents, marine sediment is largely sand, silt, and clay. At the outer shelves and on the ocean floor, clays and chemically precipitated calcium carbonate and the remains of tiny marine animals accumulate.

Weathering and erosion:

Rocks are hard and strong, but they do not stay that way forever. Forces like wind and water break down rocks through the processes of weathering and erosion.

Weathering is the process that breaks down rocks. Many things cause weathering, including climate changes. Erosion breaks rocks down further and then moves them. Forces like wind and water move the rock pieces. They mix with matter like sand to become sediment. Weathering and erosion help shape Earth’s surface. They are part of a process called the rock cycle.

Transportation and deposition:

Eroded rock particles are carried away by wind or by rain, streams, rivers, and oceans. As rivers get deeper or flow into the ocean, their current slows down, and the rock particles (mixed with soil) sink and become a layer of sediment. Often the sediment builds up faster than it can be washed away, creating little islands and forcing the river to break up into many channels in a delta.

Sedimentation and cementation:

Cementation, in geology, hardening and welding of clastic sediments (those formed from preexisting rock fragments) by the precipitation of mineral matter in the pore spaces. It is the last stage in the formation of a sedimentary rock. The cement forms an integral and important part of the rock, and its precipitation affects the porosity and permeability of the rock. Many minerals may become cements; the most common is silica (generally quartz), but calcite and other carbonates also undergo the process, as well as iron oxides, barite, anhydrite, zeolites, and clay minerals.

 

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Soil is made up of broken rocks, minerals, decaying plants and animals, tiny creatures, gases, and water. If a section is cut through soil, you will see many layers. The depth of the layers vary in different soils.

Humus:

Humus, nonliving, finely divided organic matter in soil, derived from microbial decomposition of plant and animal substances. Humus, which ranges in colour from brown to black, consists of about 60 percent carbon, 6 percent nitrogen, and smaller amounts of phosphorus and sulfur. As humus decomposes, its components are changed into forms usable by plants.

Topsoil:

It is also called the humus layer, which is rich in organic material. This layer consists of decomposed material and organic matter. This is the reason; the topsoil has a dark brown color. The hummus makes the topsoil soft, porous to hold enough air and water. In this layer, the seeds germinate and roots of the plants grow. Many living organisms like earthworms, millipedes, and centipedes, bacteria, and fungi are found in this layer of soil.

Leaching layer:

Leaching, loss of soluble substances and colloids from the top layer of soil by percolating precipitation. The materials lost are carried downward (eluviated) and are generally redeposited (illuviated) in a lower layer. This transport results in a porous and open top layer and a dense, compact lower layer. The rate of leaching increases with the amount of rainfall, high temperatures, and the removal of protective vegetation. In areas of extensive leaching, many plant nutrients are lost, leaving quartz and hydroxides of iron, manganese, and aluminum. This remainder forms a distinctive type of soil, called laterite, or latosol, and may result in deposits of bauxite. In such areas rapid bacterial action results in the absence of humus in the soil, because fallen plant material is completely oxidized and the products are leached away. Accumulations of residual minerals and of those redeposited in lower layers may coalesce to form continuous, tough, impermeable layers called duricrusts.

Weathered rock:

Weathering is the name given to the process by which rocks are broken down to form soils. Rocks and geological sediments are the main parent materials of soils (the materials from which soils have formed). There is a very wide variety of rocks in the world, some acidic, some alkaline, some coarse-textured like sands, and some fine-textured and clayey. It is from the rocks and sediments that soils inherit their particular texture. When you see rocks in the landscape it is easy to appreciate how long the process of breaking down rocks to form soil takes. In fact, it can take over 500 years to form just one centimetre of soil from some of the harder rocks. Fortunately, in some respects at least, huge amounts of rocks were broken down during the Ice Age over 10,000 years ago and converted into clay, sands or gravels, from which state it was easier to form soils.

Subsoil:

It is comparatively harder and compact than topsoil. It is lighter in color than the topsoil because there is less humus in this layer. This layer is less organic but is rich in minerals brought down from the topsoil. It contains metal salts, especially iron oxide in a large proportion. 

 

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Soil is the layer of loose material between the surface and the solid rock below the ground.  Chances are that you haven't thought a lot about the soil under your feet, but you may be surprised at the complexity of soil. Soil varies in its composition and the structure of its particles, and these factors are closely examined by farmers, who need appropriate soil for planting crops, as well as engineers who may need to understand how soil is going to hold up under different demands. Soil is also vitally important to the sustainability of an ecosystem because it serves as the natural medium for the growth of vegetation. Nothing can grow on Earth without it, but the soil varies in different places.

Grasses:

The soil is rich in nutrients, so many grasses can grow healthy and quickly.  They are an important source of food for man; they play an important ecological role in nature; and they are good protectors of the soil against soil erosion. The greatest value of grass is perhaps the role that grass plays in stabilizing and protecting the soil and for this reason the grass family is probably the most important plant family on earth.

Long roots:

Trees and grasses have long roots that go deep down to collect as much water as possible from the soil. Roots grow through the whole life of the plant. They grow longer from the tip, adding cells to the end of each root. The root adds cells to their tips, and they grow fatter as they add cells around their tube-like bodies.

At the tip of each root, there is a small group of tough, dead, hard cells called the root cap. The root cap is the strongest part of the root tip, and its job is to push its way through the dirt to look for moisture and nutrients and protect the plant.

Dung beetle:

These creatures feed on and break up, or decompose, animal poo, adding nutrients to the soil. Dung beetles aerate and mix the soil by burrowing, and increase the organic matter content of the soil by burying dung. These changes improve the water holding capacity and nutrient availability of the soil, with associated benefits to plants. By burying dung, they also provide an important food source for decomposers, and reduce resources for the larvae of economic insect pests such as bushflies

Leafcutter ants:

Ants dig tunnels into the soil, letting in air and moving around decaying plants and animals, which add nutrients to the soil. Leaf-cutting ants modify soil fertility through two mechanisms. First, the building, enlargement, and maintenance of nests ants affect soil structure, porosity and density. Second, leafcutters collect and concentrate vegetal material inside their nests to maintain their fungus culture, the food for most of the colony. As a result of this process, ants generate a huge quantity of organic waste that is deposited in nest cavities or dumps on the soil surface.

Buttress roots:

Trees have shallow roots underground to quickly take in the water and nutrients in the topsoil. Most rainforest soil is very poor with all the nutrients available largely remaining at surface level. Because of this rainforest trees have very shallow roots. 



Some very tall trees have developed ways of obtaining much needed additional support by forming buttressed roots, which grow out from the base of the trunk sometimes as high as 15 ft above the ground. These extended roots also increase the area over which nutrients can be absorbed from the soil.

Forest floor:

Many leaves from the thick tree canopy fall to the dark forest floor and decay. The major compartments for the storage of organic matter and nutrients within systems are the living vegetation, forest floor, and soil. The forest floor serves as a bridge between the above ground living vegetation and the soil, and it is a crucial component in nutrient transfer through the biogeochemical cycle. Much of the energy and carbon fixed by forests is periodically added to the forest floor through litterfall, and a substantial portion of the nutrient requirements of forest ecosystems is supplied by decomposition of organic matter in the forest floor and soil surface. 

Autumn leaves:

As the weather gets cooler and the days get shorter in the fall, trees start to prepare for winter. Trees use sunlight to make a special layer or seal between each leaf and the branch it is connected to. Then the leaves fall easily to the ground, leaving the branches of the tree protected from the cold that will come in the winter and also helping the tree store up food!

Since leaves have water inside their cells, they can’t survive freezing temperatures, because the water would freeze and the leaves would die. When leaves fall to the ground, they eventually break down and provide nutrients for the soil, helping prepare for more plants to grow in the spring and also create a layer that helps the ground absorb water.

Earthworm:

Earthworm burrows alter the physical structure of the soil. They open up small spaces, known as pores, within the soil. When earthworms are introduced to soils devoid of them, their burrowing can lead to increases in water infiltration rates of up to 10 times the original amount. This brings water and soluble nutrients down to plant roots. Burrowing also improves soil aeration (important for both plants and other organisms living in the soil) and enhances plant root penetration.

Tree roots:

Tree roots absorb nutrients and water from the soil. Large roots anchor the tree into the ground to prevent it from blowing over in the wind. Most roots live just 6-12 inches below ground and extend far beyond the width of the tree’s canopy. Cutting tree roots can cause stress to a tree and can leave it vulnerable to disease or insect attack. Roots need oxygen. By allowing soil to dry for several days between watering, oxygen can make its way to the roots. Avoid piling new soil or compacting the ground underneath the tree. This can suffocate the roots that absorb oxygen close to the surface. 

 Cactus:

Cacti have shallow roots and thick stems, so they can collect and store water. Cacti can have many small, thin roots near the top of the soil. These roots take in water quickly after a rain. The same cactus may have one long, thick root called a taproot. The taproot grows deep in the soil. It can reach water when the soil on top is dry.

Deep roots:

Desert trees have very long roots to reach down and collect water from deep underground. There are several benefits to a deep root system rather than a large surface root system. A deep root system helps the plants stay grounded in the soil through harsh winds and other adverse conditions. And the plant is not dependent on rainfall to get water for survival.

Kangaroo rat:

When burrowing, animals break down large rocks, mix up the soil, and let air into it. Kangaroo rats play an important in the ecological communities in which they live. Specifically, they influence plant growth by feeding on and dispersing seeds and digging burrows in the soil. This contributes to the overall health of their ecosystem. They are also prey for numerous predators, including barn owls, burrowing owls, snakes, and coyotes. In order to help keep ecosystems healthy, we have worked with our partners to translocate kangaroo rats out of areas that are slated for development and into appropriate habitat on protected reserves.

Grassland:

The soil is usually deep and full of nutrients. This is because rotting grass roots help to hold the soil together and add nutrients for new plants. Plants compete for water. Grasslands occur in environments conducive to the growth of this plant cover but not to that of taller plants, particularly trees and shrubs. The factors preventing establishment of such taller, woody vegetation are varied.

Tropical rainforest:

The soil is very wet and many plants grow, so there is lots of humus to add nutrients to the soil. However, these nutrients are washed away by the constant rain, leaving shallow, acidic soil. Most tropical rainforest soils relatively poor in nutrients. Millions of years of weathering and torrential rains have washed most of the nutrients out of the soil. More recent volcanic soils, however, can be very fertile. Tropical rain forest soils contain less organic matter than temperate forests and most of the available nutrients are found in the living plant and animal material. Nutrients in the soil are often in forms that are not accessible by plants.

Constant warmth and moisture promote rapid decay of organic matter. When a tree dies in the rainforest, living organisms quickly absorb the nutrients before they have a chance to be washed away. When tropical forests are cut and burned, heavy rains can quickly wash the released nutrients away, leaving the soil even more impoverished. 

Temperate deciduous forest:

The soil is moist and full of nutrients from decaying plants and animals, especially in autumn. The deep roots of plants break up the bedrock, which adds minerals. Water often drains through steadily.

The soil of deciduous forests is classified as an alfisol or a brown forest soil.  It is very nutrient rich. This is caused by the large leaf fall during the fall seasons.  When the snow melts in the spring the leaves on the ground decompose and supply the nutrients that the plants need to grow.  This type of soil was considered the most fertile type of soil until the modern inventions allowed other types of soil to be modified.

Desert:

The soil is very dry and few plants grow, so there is little humus. It is made up of boulders, pebbles, and sand, and is blown around by the wind. Any water drains through the sand easily. Deserts soils are generally of brown, light brown or reddish color. Due to arid conditions, leaching of soil is almost absent in the desert soils and thus evaporation is quite rapid.

Therefore, these soils are in general saline. Further in some low level areas, the salt content in the desert soil is really high. In fact, it is so high that common salt is obtained by evaporating the saline water collect from such areas.

However, salt content in some desert soils is not that high and thus in such cases they support vegetation in the sufficient availability of water. Moreover, in some areas land is rocky and is surrounded by gravel.

 

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“If you don’t hurry up you’ll be late for school!” Parents say this over and over while they hurriedly prepare breakfast, pack lunches, and get the family ready for the morning commute to day care, school, or work. In the midst of all this activity, six- to nine-year-old dawdle along, seemingly unaware of the frustration they cause. It can seem to parents that nothing keeps their children from procrastinating—not logical arguments, threats, rewards, or punishments.

One seven-year-old, proud of having gotten up half an hour early on a school morning, used all her time to watch TV instead of getting ready. An eight-year-old who dressed himself after much prodding asked, “Now what do I do?” as if he’d never been told to brush his teeth and pack up his school books. Many children need constant reminders: “Comb your hair.” “Put on your shoes.” “Stop playing and come down for breakfast.”

Most young children procrastinate in the mornings because they aren’t interested in rushing off to school. Getting ready is something they have to do, but it’s not a priority. They would much rather get involved in an interesting activity such as playing, drawing, reading, using the computer, or watching TV. In addition, they have only a loose sense of time. Ten minutes can feel like plenty of time to finish playing and get dressed. Its parents, not children, who think time and morning routines, are important.

Some kids are overwhelmed by the process of preparing for school. Instead of struggling to keep track of the things they must do, they avoid getting ready in the morning altogether. Other children, like some adults, just aren’t “morning” people and have a hard time waking up early. In some families, mornings are so stressful that children deal with the tension by pushing aside demands and distracting themselves in play.

Here are some strategies to try if you, like so many parents, have a child who procrastinates. Try waking yourself up fifteen to twenty minutes earlier so your preparations won’t be as hurried. With a little more time in the morning, you can relax, share a cup of cocoa with your child, talk during breakfast, may be take a short walk. Even five minutes of relaxed time together can make the morning smoother.

You also can wake your child up earlier so he has time to play before getting ready. If he seems tired in the morning, a shower may help wake him up. Try setting an earlier bedtime. This helps some children, although others don’t wake up well no matter how much sleep they’ve had.

You might find mornings more peaceful if you change the timing of your chores. Make lunches, lay out clothes, and help your child pack up his homework in the evening so you’ll have more free time before school.

Prepare a chart for him listing the things he should do to get ready, and use a timer to let him know when to begin. You can try a system of checks and rewards as motivators.

Perhaps he doesn’t clearly know what you expect from him. Calmly but firmly tell him what his morning responsibilities are. At a time when you’re not angry, ask him for suggestions: “What would help you get ready?” Explain the consequences of dawdling: “If you aren’t outside in time, you’ll miss the school bus.” “If you don’t come downstairs early enough, you won’t have time for pancakes.”

What works for one family or child may not work for another. You may have tried many techniques and still find your mornings difficult. In that case, changing your attitude toward your child may help some. Instead of expecting him to take care of himself completely, accept that you’ll have to help him along. It may he faster and more peaceful for you to comb his hair than to yell, “Can’t you remember anything? I told you to comb your hair!” Identify the tasks he has most trouble with and either offer help, do them for him, or keep calmly reminding him. If you change your tone, he may actually cooperate more because he wants to please you.

As your child approaches nine, you’ll see less procrastination in the mornings. He’ll be better able to handle multiple tasks in a short time and be more responsible. He’ll also care a little more about his appearance so he’ll put more effort into getting ready for school.

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“Cool! Awesome! Can I buy this shirt? All the kids at school wear this kind.”

As boys and girls reach the middle elementary years, they define themselves more and more by the clothes they wear. It’s not unusual for them to have strong preferences for certain styles and colors. They copy what their peers and older siblings wear and they pick up messages from TV, magazines, movies, store displays—even dolls dressed in the latest fashions. Because clothing sales are big business, retailers and manufacturers bombard consumers with images of contemporary styles, and kids can’t help but be influenced.

A child most often wants to wear what other children wear. If she looks too different she may feel vulnerable or threatened and may be teased. Parents, too, sometimes prefer their child to dress as her friends do. Looking like the rest of the group gives a sense of belonging.

Children’s style preferences vary; what’s popular in one city or school or neighborhood may not be in another. Some children like conservative looks, some prefer only up-to-date fashions, and others just care about specifics such as shoes or jewelry. The intensity of a child’s clothes-consciousness varies also, from caring a little to caring a lot. Most young children are too absorbed in friends, schoolwork, hobbies and after-school activities to make clothing a major preoccupation.

However, a child’s opinions about clothes can be strong enough to cause conflict. On the one hand, parents want to buy clothes that please their child, but they’re also frustrated if she wants items they find unappealing or expensive. Shopping becomes difficult because it’s hard for them to know what will fit or look good on her, and if she’d like their selections. Most parents have had the experience of picking something out and bringing it home to their child, only to have it hang in the closet unused. To avoid such waste, many parents take their child along on shopping trips. This, of course, leads to other problems. Children often dread shopping and trying on clothes. They act angry, bored, or silly, and find it hard to stick to the task.

You can ease many clothing conflicts by offering your child some choices, involving her in the process of choosing what to get, and preparing her for shopping trips. For instance, before you go to a store, tell her what she can get and how much you’re willing to spend. That way you and she will have similar expectations. Once you’re shopping, have her help hunt through the racks for sizes or colors: “See if you can find a sweater with green in it to go with the pants you like.” Let her make some decisions: “You can get this shirt for twenty dollars or you can get two shirts for ten dollars each.” If she picks an item you don’t like, suggest a modification: “Let’s look for something with a smaller design on the front.”

If she’s firm about wanting only current fashions, you can either avoid arguments by buying some of what she likes as long as you find it appropriate, or you can initiate a compromise. Suggest she pick out pants while you pick out the top. Let her choose a wild sweater and a plain skirt to go with it. Have her pick the styles, and you select the colors. (Fashionable clothes often look far less outrageous in muted colors.) You also can encourage her to concentrate on accessories such as bracelets and hair bands. If she gets some of the clothes she wants, she’ll have an easier time accepting your refusal to buy items you can’t tolerate.

Keeping the cost of children’s clothing down is always important. If your child wants a particular style, look for affordable versions at department or discount stores. A six- to nine-year-old doesn’t care about cost, only about having a certain look. At times, if she wants something you consider too expensive, offer to pay half while she pays the rest out of her allowance.

In addition to cost, consider the practicality of your child’s clothing. Since she needs to run around and explore, don’t buy play clothes that are delicate or hard to clean.

If you are having frequent arguments about clothing, step back and think about the issue. Excessive clothes-consciousness can be the result of power struggles in which parents won’t let their children participate in decision-making and children feel they can’t give in. Instead of getting locked in a battle of wills, considers child’s opinions and remember that she, like you, just wants to dress in a way that’s physically and emotionally comfortable. If you constantly argue about buying decisions, she will continue to focus on clothes. But if you allow her to help choose which to buy, you let her know she’s competent and capable of making some decisions for herself. You may sometimes be giving in, but you will be diffusing the issue of clothes-consciousness and helping your child gain self-confidence.

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In theory giving an allowance is a good idea, and this is a good time to start. Many parents of six- to nine-year-old want their children to begin learning how to save and spend wisely.

There are two main ways in which an allowance is given: conditionally and unconditionally. An unconditional allowance handed out automatically every week. A conditional allowance only given after a child successfully completes certain requirements. Chores are the usual requirements, but sometimes conditions are related to school work or general behavior. One parent who gives her child a conditional allowance said, “I want him to learn how the world works. You get paid for what you do.”

When an allowance depends on a child’s performance, there can be family conflicts. Children may remember only half of their chores or may argue that they’re too tired or busy to do all that their parents want. Parents have to constantly remind a child, “If you don’t clear the table, you won’t get your allowance.” “No money if you don’t fold the clothes.” In addition, he may complete his task, but not to the satisfaction of his parents. They have to continually monitor and judge.

When kids are threatened with losing their allowance, they often do as their parent desire. However, they sometimes try to negotiate. One boy regularly got two dollars a week for making his bed and cleaning his room. When he wanted to miss a day, he started bargaining: “Just give me one dollar this time.” When the negotiating got out of hand, her parents switched to an unconditional allowance and used other tactics to encourage him to keep his room neat.

Some parents use an allowance to try to control their child’s behavior. He may gain or lose money depending on how obedient he is or how well he does at school. While this may work, it may lead to anger and frustration. If he hears, “You forgot your math book. You’re losing 50 cents this week,” he may feel unfairly penalized. Receiving an allowance should be a positive experience, not one associated with anger and feelings of helplessness.

While some families have success with a conditional allowance, others eventually give it up because of the struggles and attitudes they see their child adopting. One parent said her son refused to pitch in and help with anything other than his assigned chores unless he was paid extra.

However parents decide to give an allowance, they should strive for a system that makes them and their child feel good. If one method doesn’t work, they can try another.

At times, children are very interested in money, asking for an allowance at the earliest possible moment each week and eagerly counting their savings. At other times, they may forget their allowances for weeks. Some families have a regular day when the allowance is given, while others are very casual, giving children money at irregular intervals. Again, any method is fine as long as family members are comfortable with it.

A big question for parents is how much money to give. There are no general rules, and amounts vary from family to family. When parents are in doubt, they can find out how much other children are receiving. Families in a neighborhood or parents of close friends sometimes agree to give their children equal amounts.

Many parents open a bank account for their child when they start giving him an allowance. They want him to learn about saving and put at least part of his money away. Yet, it’s often hard for them to know how much should be saved and how the savings should be used. While they should encourage savings, they should also allow their child to make his own decisions about his allowance. He’ll certainly make mistakes, but he’ll learn valuable lessons from the experience.

For instance, if he wants a toy his parents aren’t willing to buy he may decide to save and buy it with his own money. If he does manage to accumulate enough, they should praise him for his patience even if they doubt the wisdom of his purchase.

It takes time for children to learn to manage money wisely. You may be frustrated if your child wants to spend each week’s allowance on gum, baseball cards, or comics. You don’t want him to waste his money, yet you do want him to have control over what is, after all, his. You’ll have to strike a balance, letting him make some mistakes as long as he doesn’t violate your family’s basic ideas about buying and saving. Keep in mind, too, that most adults make unnecessary, frivolous purchases from time to time.

To encourage your child to be more responsible about money, have him occasionally donate a small amount, perhaps at the same time you’re making a donation to a worthy cause. He can use his money to help buy toys for needy children or give a cash gift to a charity. Although he may initially resist, he’ll soon feel good about his donations, especially if you praise him for helping others.

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Money is an emotionally charged subject. Many adults are uncomfortable with their financial situations and therefore reluctant to discuss money with their children. Some parents have feelings of guilt, anger, or confusion stemming from their childhood experiences with money. They may go out of their way to create a different climate in their own homes or may treat their children exactly as they were once treated.

Children’s lifelong attitudes toward money are based on what they learn at home; they’ll pick up their parents’ feelings whether finances are openly discussed or not. For that reason, parents should give careful thought to talking to kids about money.

People often wonder .how open they should be about the family’s finances. Should children have all their questions answered? Do they need to know how much the house cost, how expensive the car is, and how much the family paid for last summer’s vacation? Finances are a very private matter for most adults, and it’s difficult to know how much to share with a child.

 At the least, kids should feel it’s acceptable to ask questions, and they should have their questions answered in a way that will satisfy rather than frustrate them. That doesn’t mean parents have to provide all the details. However, they shouldn’t make money a secretive subject. No child should constantly hear, “I’m not telling you how much I get paid,” or, “Don’t ask. It’s none of your business.” It’s fine for parents to say at times, “The price of this feels private to me. I really don’t want to share it with you.” Then, at other times, they can be open about costs.

When children ask about money, their parents have an opportunity to start a discussion: “How much do you think our house cost? Do you know how much people pay for houses?” Parents can use financial questions to introduce subjects such as borrowing and saving.

Such discussions are valuable because young children have only vague ideas about money. They try to organize the little they know into general theories: “If you don’t have enough money, just tells your boss.” “Go to the bank and they’ll give you more money.” “Sue somebody and you’ll get a lot of money.” “Just trade in your change for dollars and you’ll have a lot.” A six- to nine-year-old has little understanding of buying power. Twenty-five dollars may seem like a lot and the $150 a week her mother spends on food may seem a fortune. A child this age also assumes that bigger means more expensive and she may not understand that a small piece of jewelry can cost more than a piece of furniture.

It’s difficult to give kids a clear picture of where money comes from, -how it’s spent, and how financial decisions are made. A child, not seeing the difference between necessities and luxuries, watches her parents purchase shampoo, food, clothes, and gasoline. She assumes they can buy whatever they want. Then, when they place restrictions on her purchases, she may feel confused and unfairly treated.

Children are quite sensitive to their parents’ financial concerns. When parents argue or worry openly about money, kids worry, too. A child may feel responsible for financial disagreements because her parents have told her the things she wants are expensive. She also may feel guilty if her parents say, “We buy you nice clothes and you don’t even wear them,” “Stop asking for new toys. You’ve got plenty already.”

On the other hand, children can make their parents reel guilty. When a child says, “Benjamin has new skates and so does Eve. Why won’t you buy me some?” her parents may feel inadequate and unable to make her happy. It’s important that they keep such demands in perspective. All young children want what their friends have. Parents should buy or not buy according to their own values and circumstances. They can tell their child, “You’d like to have what Eve has, but we’re not going to buy it,” or, “We have different buying rules in our home.” They should try to answer their child’s requests for purchases appropriately and realistically, without becoming angry or defensive.

Talking to your child about money is not easy. Try to respect her point of view, understanding that her knowledge will increase as she gets older. She’s not capable of adopting your financial concerns, and you shouldn’t expect her to. If you work outside the home, don’t burden your child with guilt by making such statements as, “We work hard to pay for your things.” Listen to her questions and engage in conversations (without lecturing) about money. And decide on what attitudes you want to teach her. How do you ultimately want her to feel about earning, spending, and saving?

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“Why do I have to tell you over and over again to put your clothes away?”

“You should have started your homework earlier!”

“Taking care of the gerbil is your job.”

“Don't race your bike down the sidewalk like that."

All parents want their children to be responsible. They want them to be considerate of others, do their schoolwork carefully and on time take care of pets, follow safety rules, and do household chores. When children don’t act responsibly, parents become Frustrated: “When will he, ever learn to do the right thing?”

It is helpful to know that responsibility is tied to a number of other traits such as thoughtfulness, common sense, generosity, and empathy. Responsibility requires maturity, alertness, and a social conscience. While a nine-year-old may be quite responsible, a six-year-old is just learning to think about the consequences of his actions.

In order to become responsible, a child needs good role models. His parents set the standards he’ll follow. If they emphasize the importance of doing a good job and caring about others, he’ll pick that up. He’ll often behave politely at a friend’s house and attentively at school.

The process of learning is neither quick nor smooth. Six- to nine-year-old need many reminders, particularly about personal grooming and household chores. Since a child rarely enjoys or cares about these tasks, he isn’t motivated to do them. This is understandable; even adults don’t like to consistently clean shop, make repairs, and pay bills.

Kids also don’t understand the reasons for many tasks. Making a bed may not seem important: “I’m just going to mess it up again tonight.” Even when parents explain why jobs are necessary, their child might resist: “It’s not fair that I have to take out the trash. I’m not the one who filled up the bag.” “Why should I put the game away? Shannon took it out.” “Nobody will care if my hair isn’t combed.”

Parents may feel less frustrated if they accept that reminders are a necessary part of teaching a child to be responsible. One mother, angry over repeatedly having to ask her child to clear his dishes after eating, decided to take a realistic approach. Instead of loudly reprimanding him (“Why can’t you ever remember to put your plate in the sink?”), she simply incorporated reminders into her mealtime routine (“Don’t forget to clear your dishes”). She felt calmer, he felt less pressured, and the job got done.

Reminders are important in all areas of responsibility. Children need to be told, in nonjudgmental ways, about safety, consideration for other, schoolwork, and family obligations. For some responsibilities, such as chores or homework, a chart might be useful. Each day, a child checks off the jobs he’s completed. Even with a chart, though, most kids still need reminders. The mother of a second grader tried offering a reward each time her daughter did her homework, made her bed and got herself dressed without reminders. However, this mother’s expectations were unrealistic—a child this age just can’t consistently keep track of this many obligations.

If your child continually fails to be as responsible as you’d like, reexamine your expectations. You might be asking him to do too much. Try eliminating one or two of the less important tasks he struggles with and see if he doesn’t become more responsible about the remaining obligations. Also, be sure to leave him free time to play and pursue creative projects; if he has to spend a big portion of his time on tasks that don’t interest him, he’ll be too frustrated to do his best.

In teaching responsibility, as in many other aspects of parenting you’ll find your child becomes most cooperative when you get involved. Help him clean his room, offer to trade jobs so he can water the lawn while you pick up the toys, occasionally sit beside him paying bills or writing a letter while he does homework, put on your seat belt as you tell him to fasten his, have him help you on a charity project.

If he’s able to behave responsibly after you’ve given him reminders, he’s on the right track. Although you may wish he’d learn more quickly, be assured that you’ll continue to see progress as long as you patiently reinforce responsible behavior at home.

The early elementary years are a time of growing independence. Children generally have an easy time being away from home during the school day, and they often want to play with friends or participate in organized activities in the afternoons. On weekends they may balk at joining a family outing, preferring to spend time pursuing their own interests or being with friends. Kids this age also want less parental supervision. They want to ride their bikes to the playground, walk to the community pool, and stay outside longer.

Parents greet this push for independence with ambivalence. They want their children to become capable, competent people who can take care of themselves. At the same time, the path to independence isn’t smooth and the process of letting go isn’t easy.

Primarily, parents worry about their child’s safety. As she strives for independence, they constantly have to consider her welfare. Some decisions are easy: a seven-year-old is too young to ride her bike on a busy street. Other decisions are more difficult. Is she ready to walk alone to her friend’s house? Can she go to a neighborhood playground without an adult? Kids of this age are confident enough to argue heatedly, “I want to go! Everybody else is allowed to!” They feel justified in pushing their points. They know what they want, and parents have the tough job of determining how much independence to give and when to give it.

Parents also have to deal with their own feelings of frustration and sadness. The frustration comes from gradually losing control. No matter how often a preschooler says, “I want to do it myself.” her parents are still firmly in charge. The six- to nine-year-old has a stronger will, a stronger sense of herself, and a growing need to make some decisions for herself. Parents also have a sense of sadness as she begins to separate from them. Certainly there’s pride as she matures and becomes more independent, but there’s also a feeling of loss. The child who had depended totally on her parents is now growing up.

As you deal with the issue of independence, you’ll make constant adjustments. Sometimes you’ll be surprised at how mature your child seems. One mother was amazed when her formerly reluctant seven-year-old went off confidently for a weekend at friends. Until recently, the girl wouldn’t spend a night, away from home without lots of kisses, hugs, and assurances from her mother.

Sometimes you’ll he surprised at how dependent your child suddenly seems; in development there are always steps backwards. Mixed with your child’s growing independence is a strong need for your guidance and positive feedback.

If you’re finding it hard to let your child do more for herself, consider the benefits of independence. If you allow her some of the freedom she wants, she’ll feel confident about her ability to take care of herself. Let her ride her bike in the neighborhood. Let her make choices—how to arrange her room, for instance—and she’ll feel good about decision-making. And if you let her help you with some challenging tasks, you’ll encourage her sense of competence. For example, let her help you trim the bushes or plant flowers. In the kitchen, let her slice the vegetables, mash the potatoes, or prepare dessert. These are more rewarding activities than such usual jobs as setting or clearing the table.

As she pushes for independence, you may he puzzled (or irritated) to find she doesn’t take on more personal responsibility. You still have to remind her about chores and simple tasks: “Do your homework.” “Straighten your room.” “Get ready for bed.” From her point of view, these are not top priorities. What’s important to her is running around outside, doing an arts and crafts project, reading a good book, or playing a game.

As you tackle the difficult job of deciding how much independence to give, talk to other parents and ask yourself questions about your child. How mature is she? Can she safely cross the street? Would she dart into the street after a ball? Do her friends follow common-sense rules? Would they encourage her to misbehave?

Consider your child’s age and the ages of her friends. Six- and seven-year-olds need a lot of supervision while eight- or nine-year-olds are capable of spending more time on their own. In general, early elementary-aged children need to be checked on. First, there are safety concerns. Seven-year-olds allowed to go off by themselves may be harassed by older children. A six-year-old skating alone may fall and have no one to help her.

Kids also need supervision for social reasons. They may become angry with each other and fight. They may also exclude one another from play and need some reminders about getting along.

After you’ve considered your child’s maturity and age, judge her requests for independence separately. If she wants to go to the playground, will she walk or ride her bike? Will she be with a friend or, an older sibling? How long will she be gone?

You know your child and her patterns of behavior. If your instinct says she shouldn’t go on her own, don’t give in to your child’s demands. You may feel over-protective at times, but it’s better to be cautious. Try to interest her in another activity, or put your own tasks aside and take her where she wanted to go. She can play happily at the park while you sit reading nearby, comfortable knowing she’s safe.

If you and your child argue a great deal about independence, take time when you’re both feeling calm to talk about the problem. Tell her, “It seems like we yell a lot about things I won’t let you do” and give her the reasons for your decisions. When she’s angry, she may not understand why you say no and may assume you’re trying to be meant. Calmly explain your concerns, and then listen to her. Let her know you’re paying attention: “It sounds like you think I’ve been unfair.” Communicating on the subject of independence will help you understand each other and get along better.

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