My Science School

I am 14 years old and I know this guy who used to study in my tuition class. After he left the class we started chatting online (before we never used to talk to each other). He admitted that he “like me” and wanted to be in a relationship. I declined saying that we were too young. We became good friends and texted each other every day. But after a few weeks he texted me saying that he doesn’t like to chat with me and I am just “wasting his damn time”! And he said, “not to be rude but I am blocking you”! I was very hurt by his actions and because of this I cannot focus on my studies. Please help.

At the age of 14 you started chatting online with a guy who used to study in your tuition class. You “became good friends and texted each other every day” because he “wanted to be in a relationship”. With the passing of time he realized that much of his time was getting wasted and decided to stop this relationship. Now you are “very hurt” and “cannot focus” on your studies. You should learn from this experience not to hurry into online relationships at a very young age, because only words will be exchanged, not real knowledge and experience of each other. Love implies giving and taking, sacrificing, forgiving always and growing together each day. This cannot be done online.

 

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I am 21 years old and I am preparing for my CA final exams. I am in a happy relationship with a guy but unable to focus on my studies. We frequently meet each other because of which I get less time to study and the course demands 12-13 hours study time. I really love him and don’t want to break our relationship. I am really confused about what I should do. Please help me out so that my studies don’t get affected by this.

You are no more a teenager and are preparing for your final CA exams. In this important period of your life which “demands 12-13 hours study time” every day you frequently meet a guy with whom you are “in a happy relationship” which you “don’t want to break”. The problem is that this situation has a negative impact on you as you are unable to focus on your studies. Probably he too must be experiencing the same. At this point of your life you should realize that in a relationship what matters is not the quantity of time spent together, rather the quality. A few moments spent together sharing your life situation and your plans for the future are more important than a long time spent together just looking into each other’s eyes. You are acting like an infatuated teenager not like a responsible adult.

 

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I’m a 13-year-old-girl. I love someone in my class but he loves someone else. He talks to me and shares his problems with me, which he doesn’t do with his girlfriend. I think he likes me but how can I be sure?

At the age of 13 it is easy to get confused between loving someone and liking someone. ‘Love is a deep commitment of mind and heart with a chosen one who shares the same values. Liking someone is often related to physical attraction and related feelings. Try to enter into good friendships with many young people of your age and do not get involved in other people’s relationships.

 

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I am 16 years old. A few months ago I met a boy on Facebook who is 6 months older than me. We became really good friends and gradually began talking on the phone. I started liking him and he knows about it. But in the past few days he started ignoring me and I felt really bad about it. Now that he has his exams we hardly talk on the phone. I am finding it really difficult to concentrate on my studies as I keep thinking about him all the time. I don’t know if this is infatuation or just so-called hormonal changes. Please help me out so that my studies don’t get affected by this.

What you are feeling for that boy whom you met on Facebook and with whom you had a few talk on the phone is clearly an example of infatuation. You would like to have his full attention and “keep thinking about him all the time”. If he ignores you for a few days you feel “really bad about it” and find it very difficult to concentrate on your studies. At your age the confusion of infatuation with true love is quite common. Infatuation is an exciting experience but can be quite troublesome, because it makes people totally depressed if rejected by the one they feel in love with. It also makes people ineffective as other activities are suspended and only daydreaming about the loved one matters. Stop daydreaming and turn your mind and heart to your loving family, your duties as a student, your beautiful friendships with people of your age. Last, but not the least, turn your heart and mind to God who loves you and gave you life.

 

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I am in love with a guy who has just proposed to me. But I have two best friends who don’t trust him at all. Now one of them trusts him but the other still doesn’t. She says that he will cheat on me. But in his school he broke his hand while playing a dare just for me. Should I listen to my friend or should I continue with him since he loves me very much.

At the age of 14 you have just opened your mind and heart to a relationship with a boy your age who proposed to you. Now you are confused as one of your friends trusts him while another says that he will cheat on you. From your side you feel that you are in love with him. Since at your very young age you cannot commit yourself to a permanent relationship, the best thing you can do is to propose to him to start just a friendly relationship with him. This will give you time to know him better and for him to know you. Your future is in the hands of God.

 

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I love a guy a lot and he loves me too. I am one year younger than him. The problem is that after a few months he will be going to another state far away from me. I am confused about whether I should remain in a relationship with him or not. Both of us love each other a lot. What should I do?

You are just 15 and that boy is 16. In a few months he will be going to another state. You are now confused about whether to continue this relationship or to stop it. The best you can do is to propose to keep in touch as good friends and share your joys and sorrows as friends do. Friendship is important at all stages of life, but is particularly crucial during the teen years when a sense of insecurity dominates emotions and feelings. Adolescents are undergoing profound changes from complete dependence from their parents to an unstable independence. Their inner SELF is constantly changing and undergoing formation. No serious and permanent commitment is possible at this age.

 

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I’ve a very good friend who’s just like a sister to me. She’s is the only one I can trust in this world. But I’ve many flaws in me and that creates a lot of problems between us. I recently met a boy, who was in my class some years ago, on a social networking site. We became friends and entered into a relationship; I didn’t tell her but she guessed it. And she felt really bad. We are good friends again but I can feel that the warmth is missing now. I really love and want my sister back. I can’t imagine myself without her because I am not close to anyone else, not even my family. Please help me out.

It is painful to read that you are “not close to anyone, not even your family” and that your friend is the only one you can trust in this world. Your parents brought you in this world, love you and take care of your education. They would be very upset if they come to know about that. Fix your priorities in life and do not run after dreams of “love” about which you have no experience.

 

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My friend was addicted to betting. He owes 2 lakh rupees to some people. He is studying in college and he can’t ask his parents for help. What can I do for him? He is my best friend. I care for him and I love him so much that I can’t let him be in trouble!

A college student who is addicted to betting and “owes 2 lakh rupees to some people” is definitely in trouble, because “he can’t ask his parents for help”. His parents do not know about his addiction and may be in a difficult financial situation. You, too, who cares for him and love him cannot do anything., your friend should have the courage to tell the truth to his family and find a solution along with them. You just cannot do anything.

 

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I am a girl, but I have feelings both for girls and for boys. It is very confusing. I don’t understand my sexuality. And I’m scared to talk about this. I’m scared that people will start rejecting me. I don’t really know if I’m bisexual. Please help.

At the age of 15 your sexuality is not yet fully matured and it is possible to experience confusion in relationships. After a few years you will mature your feelings and emotions. There is no need for you to worry now about your sexual identity. If you face any problem in future you can trust the opinion of your parents or of an experienced counsellor.

 

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I met a guy 2 years ago and I had a kind of attraction towards him from the very first day. Then 2 months after meeting, he proposed to me and we were in a relationship for about one and a half year. Then due to some reasons we broke up. After about 6 months he again proposed to me and apologized for his mistakes and I totally believed him. Two months later, I learned that he was cheating me and he was in a relationship with another girl. I was completely broken. Meanwhile, I met a guy who was very caring and was possessive about me. We used to spend maximum time together. He proposed to me but because of my past I am not able to trust anyone anymore. I am not able to forget my past or able to live my present. Please help.

At the age of 13 you felt “a kind of attraction” towards a boy. Attraction is mainly caused by a physical emotion towards a person of the opposite sex. It has nothing to do with love or a true friendship; in fact, after one and a half years your relationship broke up. After patching up with him you came to know that he was in a relationship with another girl. Friendly relationships come and go during the teenage. An exclusive love commitment is not possible and not advisable at your age. Therefore, there is no need of getting “completely broken” about it. The fact that in the meantime you met a boy who is “possessive” about you is not a positive experience. A free relationship with mutual respect is the best at your age. Learn from your past not to be emotional and possessive in your relationships and live your present with trust and confidence in your friends.

 

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I was in a long distance relationship with a boy for two months. He loved me, too. When my mom came to know about it she said ‘yes’ both I never had the time to talk to him neither on Facebook nor on WhatsApp nor on the phone as I am a dance choreographer, too. He thought I had changed and that I didn’t love him. But I still love him and I want him back in my life. It’s been five months since we broke up and he acts as if nothing was there between us. After our break-up he had a relationship with another girl but although that ended recently he loves her. I want him to realize that his decision to leave me was wrong and that I still love him. He hates me now and doesn’t want to see me at all. What should I do?

In two months you have built a dream of love with a boy, a “long distance relationship”. Due to your busy schedule: “I am a dance choreographer”, you never had the time to talk to him, not even on the phone. Your long silence made him feel that you did not love him and your relationship broke up since five months. Afterwards he moved on to another relationship. You feel that he hates you now and doesn’t want to see you at all, yet you still love him and want him back in your life. You have to make a choice between concentrating on your busy schedule which prevents you from finding the time to talk to those whom you love. The choice is yours.

 

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I am a 13-year-old girl who has just entered my teenage. I spend most of my time alone. My friends this year are in different sections and both my parents are working. I thought I could spend this year alone as next year some of my friends would be with me. Six months have passed and I feel as if I am going into depression. At first I thought I was imagining it but then I checked on the internet and all the symptoms matched. I can’ talk about it to my mother as she would get worried and always keep me with her and she would not be able to work. I don’t want to make new friends as I have not moved on from the old ones and I don’t think I can trust anyone other than my friends. Other than my family I have no reason to live. What should I do?

You are feeling lonely and depressed as your friends this year are in different sections and your parents are working and cannot spend much time with you. You have decided not to make new friends as you think that you cannot trust anyone except your old friends. You also believe that other than your family you have no reason to live. At the tender age of 13 you should remember that you are a child of God and that he loves you. He gave you your life, your family, your friends and everything else. The reason to live is that you belong to God and should please him. What God wants is that you love and care for those around you; therefore he wants you to make new friends, love them and care for them wherever you are. Move out of your loneliness; meet your new classmates and start relating lovingly to them. You will experience their love and affection and grow closer to God.

 

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I have a crush on my cousin whom I thought had a crush on me, too. We’ve been having casual and very friendly talk on Facebook now for months. Somehow I came to know that my parents had asked him to act as though he really liked me just to test me! So I gradually stopped talking to him, but we do talk rarely. I really like him and cannot stop thinking about him. Please help me.

“Casual” talks for months on Facebook cannot be a foundation for a real love relationship which requires good personal sharing and life experience. The “crush” you are going through is also called an infatuation, which is an emotional feeling of attraction: “I really like him”, preventing you from concentrating on your studies and family relationships: “I cannot stop thinking about him”. Besides you “came to know that” your “parents had asked him to act as though he really like me just to test me!” if your parents want to test you it may be because they feel that you do not share with them your problem and experiences. I suggest that you spend more time talking to your parents. The thought that he “had a crush” on you too proved to be untrue and now you talk to him “rarely”. Stop living in a dream and start living good relationships with those who are close to you.

 

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I love a boy living in my neighbourhood who is three years older than me. But the problem is that I don’t know much about him. But his elder sister is a good friend of mine. I really want to tell him about my feelings. Should I?

For the time being keep your “feelings” to yourself. You are only 13 and know only the elder sister of that boy. You know little about him. Feelings come and go; you have no right to disturb others with your emotional feelings. This could upset and confuse that by who only knows that you are a friend of his sister. Besides, are you sure that his elder sister, who is your “good friend”, will be happy to know that you are secretly proposing your “love” to her brother? This could put an end to your relationship with her.

 

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I really like a guy who comes to my tennis class daily. It has been one month since I’ve been going to the class and I have not talked to him yet. But I feel that he likes me because he keeps looking at me every minute. I hesitate to ask him out even as a friend because he is three years older than me. What should I so?

At the age of 12 you are not yet a teenager, yet already started “really” liking a boy who is three years older than you. You have not spoken to him nor he to you, except that “he keeps looking” at you. He is just 15 years old and has started liking girls, and you are one of them; he may be looking at other girls too. Do not build up in your mind an emotional dream about him and definitely do not “ask him out”. Concentrate on your tennis classes and be friendly with everyone around you.

 

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