My Science School

I am 18 years old, and I just completed my first year of college. This summer to take summer classes due to which I stay busy with my course work. I also have a part-time job due to which my schedule is hectic. My grandparents have lots of expectations from me, but they don’t see how much I’m struggling with life. I don’t have any social life. The only thing going on in my life is work and study. This gets me so frustrated, and my morale falls. The problem is that my grandparents don’t let me have a social life; they only want me to study and work which frustrates me. Sometimes I even feel depressed. Please help me.

You are living with my grandparents who care for you and have lots of expectations from you. The problem is that your schedule is hectic due to your commitments: summer classes and a part-time job. I do not know what happened to your parents but I presume they are not in position to help you and cover your expenses. No doubt you and your grandparents are struggling with this situation. You are now worried that you don’t have a social life; your life is work and study. You should decide what is most important in your life in this particular situation. You have a choice between completing your education and earning enough to build your future or giving up all that and search for social life. The best choice for you in this moment is the first one; while studying and working you will build many relationships which will keep you in touch with the surrounding community and local culture. You can socialize while studying and working. Be grateful to your grandparents for taking care of you and build good friends among your fellow students and workers.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am 14 years old. I want to sign up on some social networks like Instagram, Facebook, etc. but I can’t because my elder brother won’t let me do so. What should I do?

Regarding signing up on some social networks at the age of 14 it is better that you get the approval of your family. Your elder brother is against it; therefore you could also get the opinion of your parents. If they too are against it, I advise you to respect their opinion. They may be afraid that you will waste a lot of time on these networks and neglect your studies. If you do well in your studies they may change their minds and allow you. Study well now, social networks can wait.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I’m in Class XI. I’m usually good at anything I take up – painting, drawing, vehicles, creating science models, gaming, writing poems, gardening, carrying out chemistry experiments, etc. But, because of this, I do not know what I’m very good at to make it my special hobby. Also, I’m good at any sport I take up. But the thing is, I also get bored with it after a while, and all the gear related to that sport become useless, and I feel guilty about wasting my parents’ money. Now, I’ve become lazy and started gaining weight. How can I balance my interests and health?

You seem to have a wide variety of interests and are also good at many things. This is good as long as you are able to focus on your priorities. You could list down your interests and clear the clutter. Do a cost-benefit analysis of your interests. Weigh the pros and cons. It is okay to explore and experiment, but introspect and proceed further. Set realistic goals. Rather than feeling guilty, bring back your thoughts into action in a healthy way. Sports and other interests can be managed if you plan your time effectively. Prioritize, plan and act, and you will be able to reach your goal.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am in Class XII. I have a big dreams and good ideals about life. I love learning. I also feel motivated to work. But the problem is I cannot transform my thoughts into action. How can I overcome this laziness, which I think developed when I was in Class IX?

I appreciate your interest in wanting to achieve something in life and that you are motivated to work. A combination of both internal (satisfaction, etc.) and external (rewards etc.) motivation is essential. The laziness you feel can be altered with conscious effort. Here are a few tips:

• Have a schedule: Planning your activities for the day, week and month is very important. Your plans have to be realistic and achievable.


• Don’t overthink: When we keep thinking about our plans without getting started on them, we tend to lose a lot of time and get stuck.


• Break it down into parts: When you look at anything as a large picture, you may get perplexed and tend to postpone it. Instead break it down into parts, and you will not feel the pressure.


• Think about the benefits: There is no gain without pain. When we think about the benefits of any action, we will be motivated to do it.


• Positive self-talk: Self-motivation is very essential to achieve your goal. Think positively and tell positive things about yourself, to stay motivated.


• Exercise, sleep and diet: Proper physical exercise, a balance diet and seven to eight hours of sleep are essential to focus on your daily activities.


• Avoid distractions: Take care to focus on your work and avoid distractions of any kind. Reduce screentime through mobile phones, television or similar devices.


• Introspect your work: Self-analysis is very helpful. Introspect your activities and appreciate yourself for the good things. Take steps to make changes wherever necessary.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I never get angry. Even if I do, I always hide it because I feel that if I don’t, people will get hurt. But once, I got really angry and I regret it deeply. Can you give me tips to control my anger?

Anger is a natural emotion, and when it is not expressed in a healthy way, it leads to physical and mental health issues and problems with our work, with people etc. Here are a few tips to manage your anger.

• Take up deep-breathing exercises; practice yoga.


• When you have negative thoughts, your mind gets cluttered. Whenever you sense a mood change, direct your mind towards something healthy.


• Understand why you are angry; identify the triggers and the warning signs. Many a time, we get angry because of frustration, disappointments, anxiety or such. Only if you identify the cause and resolve it will you not be angry again.


• If you look at a situation from a different perspective, you may be willing to forgive others’ mistakes.


• Be in the present, and keep going. Learn from your past and take care to not repeat it.


• Keep yourself physically engaged. Take up a sport or a hobby to give vent to your feelings.


• Whenever you get angry, count from 100 to 1. It could help you slow down, think and act.


• Keep yourself hydrated by drinking lots of fluids.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am in Class VII. I liked a boy very much, and he liked me too. We were family friends; we’d liked each other from when we were in Class I. Last year, he died in an accident. I cannot forget him. This makes me so upset, I’m unable to concentrate on anything, including studies; I am unable to move on.

It is very sad to know about your loss and the trauma you are undergoing at this young age. It is very natural to feel sad. Dealing with the loss of a close friend is not easy. The process of grieving is different for each person. It depends on each person’s personality, coping mechanisms, lifestyle and how close the person was to you. There is no right or wrong way of grieving, and each individual takes her own time. The most essential fact is that you have to accept the loss and come back to reality. Recall god memories involving your friend. Give yourself time to overcome the loss. Do not be hard on yourself. Remember that you are not alone and that there are many who have overcome similar loss in life. Do not suppress your feelings, it is very important to let it out. Talk to someone who can listen to you. Keep yourself occupied with some physical activity or a hobby, or listen to good music. Make new friends and do not stay alone. Healthy distractions are very essential at this point of time. You are very young and you have a lot to achieve in life. Stay motivated and positive to do your best. Time is the best healer.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I’m in Class X now. I go to school at 6 a.m. and return home at 6 p.m. After that when I start my lessons, I often feel sleepy; more so after dinner. I’m unable to complete my daily portions. How can I control my sleep to complete my portions regularly?

Your schedule is very hectic and it is very natural for anyone to feel sleepy. It is not clear why you have such a packed day. Everyone needs proper sleep and a diet to function effectively. In order to complete your daily portions, you have to look into what to do from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. If you are able to learn effectively during that time you can probably cover the portion early next morning. It is the quality of time you spend in learning that is important, not the quantity. Find out where you have to make changes in your schedule to be more effective. Prioritize your work and act accordingly.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am in Class X. I was friends with a girl in Class IX. We used to share almost everything with each other. But, now we are talking less. I realized I like her. When I spoke to her she said she likes someone else. Although, we talk a bit even now, it’s not like earlier. My feelings for her are very strong, and I am worried she will go away from my life and we’ll never talk to each other again. What do I do?

When there is disturbance in friendships and relationships it does create turmoil in us. Friendships are of different kinds. Only some turn out to be very intimate ones. Accept that interests in individuals change and it takes time to understand how serious a relationship is. It is important to have an open communication about your feelings. Assumptions lead to confusion. Find ways to stay calm and give yourself space to accept the changes. Talk to someone you trust to vent out your feelings. Distract yourself with things you enjoy doing; be physically and mentally active. Life is a roller-coaster and we have to overcome the challenges. Keep yourself busy. You are in Class X and you have a lot to achieve in the field of your interest. Time is the best healer and you will be able to overcome what you’re facing now.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am in Class VII. My friends like to dare each other. But I never do any of them because I am afraid it would create a bad impression about me. My friends called me a spoilsport and have stopped talking to me. What should I do? Please help me.

It needs a lot of effort to understand why you do not want to do what your friends can have differences in their viewpoints and you need to learn to accept the boundaries. Rather than looking at it as right or wrong, it would be helpful to look into what makes you comfortable. You cannot do everything, but at the same time, it is not okay to be very rigid in your ideas if it is not a sin to do something. You can make a choice based on the consequences of an action. It is very important that you convey your “no” politely without hurting the feelings of others.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am in Class X and I get A in all the subjects. But I don’t know why, recently my marks have been going down because of Maths. I do attend tuitions for Maths, but I get really scared when it comes to examinations. My parents have been very supportive, but I feel helpless with the Boards nearing. I want to become a Particle Physicist. Please help me.

It is good that you want to become a particle Physicist. Ambitions are good and they motivate you to do your best. At the same time, you must plan and work consistently to achieve your goal. Too much anxiety could lead to fear. Maths is a subject that needs a lot of practice and consistent effort. Find out what is causing you anxiety.

Procrastination and even last-minute preparation can lead to stress and affect your performance. Stay positive and do breathing exercises regularly to keep yourself calm. Take up Maths regularly and when you are relaxed. Learn from your mistakes and take care to make necessary changes. Appreciate yourself when you do better.

 

Picture Credit : Google

I am in Class X. Since I entered Class X, my parents have had high expectations from my academic performances, for which I have had to sacrifice all other activities. I have been feeling the pressure and I seem to be losing my interest in academics. I have my examinations soon and I think u can achieve the target but, at the same time, I also think there is not enough time for preparation. Meanwhile, inspired by teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg, I have developed interest in acting for climate change, which according to me, is the most important thing now, but I am unable to do anything about it. I don’t feel like studying, and this is affecting my academic performance. Please help.

As you move on to higher classes, the academic pressure increases, and so does your chance of experiencing it.  Such external pressures from parents or others can be managed if you are able to manage your schedule and focus on your goals. Have an open conversation with your parents to express your feelings. It is very important to fix a goal and work towards achieving it. Also, it is not necessary to stop your activities for academics. It is good to have at least one hobby to distract yourself from academic pressure. What is necessary is to learn manage your time effectively to that you do not face burnout! Prioritizing your work is very important. And several social incidents will disturb or inspire us. And, although you may not be able to contribute to the change immediately, you may be able to learn a lot from such incidents. No learning goes waste and you will perhaps use it later in your life.

 

Picture Credit : Google

 

I’m in Class X, I aimed to score 90% and above, given my potential. But, due to the marks I scored in Class IX, I think it’s not possible for me to score more than 85%. I’ve lost my faith. Please help me.

It’s good to fix a goal and aim to achieve it, based on your capability. It’s not healthy to give up when you do not meet your expectations. It would be helpful if you could find out what went right and continue with them and focus on areas that need improvement. Also, look into the possible factors contributing to the decline in your performance – distractions, lack of focus, anxiety, peer pressure, lack of proper studying, health issues and lack of performance during examinations… If there have been any significant changes at home or school, see if they have influenced you. Once you discover the causes, make changes wherever possible and work towards your goal. Seek help from elders or trusted ones to help you overcome the issue. Stay positive and work in a healthy atmosphere.

 

Picture Credit : Google

Our school has arranged for an educational tour to Malaysia, but my parents are not allowing me to go. I’ve tried my best to convince them in vain. This tour is the topic of discussion at school, and I feel left out. My examinations are approaching and I’m not able to focus on my studies. Most importantly, I’m in Class X, and it’s a crucial year for me. How can I cope with this situation? Please help.

It is very natural for you to be upset, given the situation. Parents have their concerns for not sending their children for such tours. And you may not be alone in this situation, a few of your classmates may not be going as well. Disappointments are a part of our lives, and we may not get all that we wish to get. You have to develop resilience to manage your emotions. As you have mentioned, you are in Class X, and it is important to focus on your studies. This disappointment should not affect your academics. You can always go for such tours later. Accept your parents’ concerns and take it in your stride. Focus on your goal and work towards it. When your mind is distracted by such events, think about your goal and how well you should prepare for it. You could write inspirational statements such as “I will do my best”, “I will avoid distractions”, “I am focused” etc on a few pieces of paper and stick them where you can see them frequently at home. When you look at them, you will get back to your long-term goal.

 

Picture Credit : Google

As you go to higher classes, it is very important to follow an effective study pattern. When a technique does not work for you, it is good to introspect as to what could have been done differently. Adapt to changes whenever necessary. Here are few tips to improve your study habits and memory:

• Focus: Follow a proper study pattern. Choose a time to study regularly. Take short breaks. Prepare notes when you learn. Note down the difficult ones to concentrate more on and repeat.


• Avoid procrastination: Studying at the last minute may affect your memory. It will create anxiety and reduce your retention power. Study and revise your lessons every day. Regular practice and hard work will help you.


• Avoid distractions: Have a regular study place that’s well-ventilated and study when you are not very tired. Do not use your mobile phones, television and such during study time.


• Plan and organize: When you plan your study depending on your schedule, you will be able to focus better.


• Relax: Balanced food, regular physical exercise and proper sleep are essential for good memory. Take up some kind of regular physical activity. Avoid junk food. Have lot of greens, vegetables and fruits. Protein-rich food is essential. Keep yourself hydrated.


• Learning style: Each person uses different learning style. Some are auditory (through hearing), some visual (seeing) and some kinesthetic (movement). A combination of all three works the best. Identify your dominant style of learning. Read difficult portions aloud and also write them down. Relate visual cues to what you learn. This will help you recollect it better. Use mindmaps for studying.


• Positive attitude: Be positive about what you do well. Do not lose your confidence. Hard and smart work will fetch you the best results. 

 

Picture Credit : Google

I appreciate your talent and interest to develop it. Communication is a very important component in everyone’s life. Effective communication is necessary to develop good relationships. It can enhance your reputation, boost your self-confidence and open up countless opportunities. Here are a few tips to develop your skills in public speaking:

• Regular reading – of books, newspapers, journals – will help you enhance your vocabulary and knowledge on different topics.


• Listen to news channels


• Planning and practice: Before your speech, plan its content. This will help you gain confidence. Practise regularly. You could join organizations that focus on public speaking to learn its nuances.


• Make use of opportunities: Take part in events and class programmes on public speaking to gain confidence.


• Body language: Be mindful of your body language and learn to connect with the audience.


• Think positively: No one is perfect and we all learn from our mistakes. Practice helps us overcome our fears and mistakes.


• Record your speeches whenever possible and watch them to identify areas of improvement.


• Listen to speeches: Listen to TED talks and other speeches to help you understand the skills of different speakers. In the book “TED Talks” by Chris Anderson, he narrates his experiences on public speaking.

 

Picture Credit : Google