My Science School

My sister is 18 and is about to go to college. She was never good at studies, but somehow managed to pass Std X and has taken Arts in junior college. She has very low self-esteem and is always dissatisfied with what she has. Due to this she lacks the interest to study. She is lazy and highly distracted. Recently she got a new phone with high speed internet. After that she was always glued to the phone. She has to give her CET exam in a month. And she was not studying. So Mom took her phone away; now she is not talking to anyone in the house including me. We try to talk to her about it but she just does not listen. We ask her what’s going to happen if she fails, but everything we say falls on deaf ears. She doesn’t like it when especially I talk, she thinks just because I’m younger I’m not supposed to. It’s like she know she’s destroying her own life, yet isn’t doing anything about it. I’m worried about her. I know how hard our parents work for us, and it pains me to see them always in stress and tension because of her. She is my sister and I love her. What should I do before it’s too late?

In the present painful situation of your family, where your elder sister lacks interest in studies, has “very low self-esteem” and “is not talking to anyone in the house” there is nothing you can personally do. Maybe your sister is more interested in a job oriented professional course rather than in college studies; for example joining a school of nursing or a tailoring or beautician training. I wish for a quick solution to this painful situation for you and your family.

 

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I am unable to change myself despite a few trials. Every time I lose focus, fatigue dominates me and I go back to my usual self. I was the school topper for the last 4 years. But suddenly I got distracted, fell into bad company and now my grades aren’t even up to the mark of average. I am unable to regain my previous concentration and focus. I am ready to forget my past and start anew. I have already left the negative people, but it’s embarrassing to face others as well as my parents after such a downfall. I have accepted that setbacks are necessary, but it would be very helpful if you give some tips for motivation and sustained focus so that I don’t fall back again from reaching my goals.

You have acknowledged that you have made some mistakes in your life; you got easily distracted and fell into bad company. You are now unable to regain your previous concentration and your grades went down below average, therefore you feel embarrassed to face your parents after such a downfall. This is for you the time to forget the past and start anew. Remember that God brought you into this world through your parents so that you could make them happy and be a useful member of society. Because of weakness and poor motivation you have experienced the pain of setbacks. Be close to your parents and ask them to help you in focusing seriously on your family duties and studies; pray also to God to help you in becoming a good and useful member of society. Do not be discouraged and work hard to achieve your goals in life.

 

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I’m studying in Std. XI. I have been best friends with a girl since 2015. But recently she said that she doesn’t like me at all. We often fight with each other. It’s been 2 months that we haven’t spoken to each other. Once upon a time we used to be good and best friends in our class. I don’t know what has happened to her. I can’t concentrate on my studies. I think about her always and want to be with her. What should I do?

Try to find out if you have hurt that fried of yours in the past, because now she doesn’t like you at all. If it is your fault you have to apologize and rebuild her confidence in you. You are now often fighting with each other and have not spoken for the last 2 months. You cannot force your friendship or anyone; be frank, honest and sincere in dealing with her and let her decide if she is interested in continuing this relationship. It is up to her to decide if she wants to be with you or not.

 

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I met a girl a few months back, it was just very normal at that time, but I think I have developed feelings for her. The thing is I don’t know if she feels the same for me. Sometimes it looks like she’s interested, sometimes it doesn’t. I thought of telling her, but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we already have. I understand that yes/no is her choice, but a ‘no’ might mean ruining our friendship. It’s like a leap of faith really. What should I do?

Do not be in a hurry in your relationship with that girl. Give yourself and her time to grow freely together as good and close friends. The more you will share together your life, problems and expectations the deeper your relationship will grow. Slowly you will discover what you have in common, what you want in life and how you are planning your future. The moment will come when both of you will understand each other in a deeper way and develop deeper feelings for each other. This could result in building a deeper friendship or in developing a closer and warmer feeling between you which could lead to planning a life together.

 

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I’m very close to my friends and my friend circle consists of both boys and girls. Until last year we all were very close but this year I don’t know what happened – they are all not talking to each other and can’t see each other. The boys talk rubbish about the girls and the girls talk rubbish about the boys. I’m confused about which side I should be on – girls or boys. What should I do? I want the old group back!

During the teenage many things change fast; even relationships. In a few years boys and girls mature physically, emotionally and intellectually. No wonder their approach to each other changes and this can generate confusion. Choose a few good friends carefully and spend time with them, sharing your life and experience with them. Discuss with them your doubts and confusion; they too will share with you. Slowly you will understand how to relate to girls and boys and decide how to approach them. Look at the future more than the past.

 

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