My Science School

I'm a student of Std X. For many days, a boy whom I don't like has been proposing to me. He is always after me. I need to concentrate on my studies and score good percentage and bring good name to my parents. How should I handle this situation?

You are in Std X and you are right in concentrating on your studies in order to make your parents proud of you. Because of the attraction between boys and girls during the teenage you are facing the problem of getting unwanted proposals from some boys. Without being rude, you should tell that boy whom you "don't like" that you will be happy to see him concentrating on his studies and making his parents happy. In future, both of you will understand each other better and could build a good and lasting relationship.

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I worry about every small thing. I am always frightened. Even before speaking; I check a hundred times whether whatever I'm saying is correct or not. If a teacher scolds me a bit, I feel I have been terribly insulted and avoid going to her class. I am so frightened about being insulted. Please help.

Children and young people need the presence of loving and caring parents in order to feel safe and secure. If, for any reason, parents are not there, it is common to experience anxiety, fear and insecurity. In your letter you do not write anything about your family; therefore it is not possible to understand the reason of your problems. You could share them with a good and understanding teacher or a family relation in order to get help.

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My sister is 18 and is about to go to college. She was never good at studies, but somehow managed to pass Std X and has taken Arts in junior college. She has very low self esteem and is always dissatisfied with what she has. Due to this she lacks the interest to study. She is lazy and highly distracted. Recently she got a new phone with high speed internet. After that she was always glued to the phone. She has to give her CET exam in a month. And she was not studying. So Mom took her phone away; now she is not talking to anyone in the house including me. We try to talk to her about it but she just does not listen. We ask her what's going to happen if she fails, but everything we say falls on deaf ears. She doesn't like it when especially I talk, she thinks just because I'm younger I'm not supposed to. It's like she knows she's destroying her own life, yet isn't doing anything about it. I'm worried about her. I know how hard our parents work for us, and it pains me to see them always in stress and tension because of her. She is my sister and I love her. What should I do before it's too late?

In the present painful situation of your family, where your elder sister lacks interest in studies, has "very low self esteem" and "is not talking to anyone in the house" there is nothing you can personally do. Maybe your sister is more interested in a job oriented professional course rather than in college studies; for example joining a school of nursing or a tailoring or beautician training. I wish for a quick solution to this painful situation for you and your family.

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I am unable to change myself despite a few trials. Every time I lose focus, fatigue dominates me and I go back to my usual self. I was the school topper for the last 4 years. But suddenly I got distracted, fell into bad company and now my grades aren't even up to the mark of average. I am unable to regain my previous concentration and focus. I am ready to forget my past and start anew. I have already left the negative people, but it's embarrassing to face others as well as my parents after such a downfall. I have accepted that setbacks are necessary, but it would be very helpful if you give some tips for motivation and sustained focus so that I don't fall back again from reaching my goals.

You have acknowledged that you have made some mistakes in your life: you got easily distracted and fell into bad company. You are now unable to regain your previous concentration and your grades went down below average, therefore you feel embarrassed to face your parents after such a downfall. This is for you the time to forget the past and start anew. Remember that God brought you into this world through your parents so that you could make them happy and be a useful member of society. Because of weakness and poor motivation you have experienced the pain of setbacks. Be close to your parents and ask them to help you in focusing seriously on your family duties and studies; pray also to God to help you in becoming a good and useful member of society. Do not be discouraged and work hard to achieve your goals in life.

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I'm studying in Std IX. I have been best friends with a girl since 2015. But recently she said that she doesn't like me at all. I am addicted to her and think about her every day. We often fight with each other. It's been 2 months that we haven't spoken to each other. Once upon a time we used to be good and best friends in our class. I don't know what has happened to her. I can't concentrate on my studies. I think about her always and want to be with her. What should I do?

Try to find out if you have hurt that friend of yours in the past, because now she doesn't like you at all. If it is your fault you have to apologize and rebuild her confidence in you. You are now often fighting with each other and have not spoken for the last 2 months. You cannot force your friendship on anyone; be frank, honest and sincere in dealing with her and let her decide if she is interested in continuing this relationship. It is up to her to decide if she wants to be with you or not.

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I am a student of class 11. I am an only girl child and I have two younger brothers. I never get respected in my home. My father thinks that I am not independent and mature as other girls are. He thinks I am not good at anything; study or household. He wanted me to take science but I was interested in arts. He also wanted me to be a police officer but I want to be a teacher. He says bad words to me, because of which I am always tense. His thinking is that I should give priority to the household rather than my studies. He beats me when I am ill. I am not allowed to talk or make friend with boys. He never trusts me; he think that I always lie. I am also not allowed to wear what I want. He says "You are 18, so you should be married". He forces me to do what I don't want to. I really respect him so I do whatever he wants me to do. I want to be a successful woman in the future. How should I tackle this problem?

Looks like you are going through a very difficult situation with your father who thinks that girls are a burden. Your confidence level seems to be quite low and it looks like there is no other lady at home who can support you.

You say that he beats you when you are ill and says bad words to you, and forces you to do what you don't want to. When someone does all the above, it is called abuse physical and verbal. And it is not okay to be abused in any way. Please seek help from a trusted older lady - a teacher, a friend's mother, a women's organization or helpline in your area as soon as you can.

Your interests lie in a very different direction from what your father wants. You are 18, and an adult. You have a right to make your decisions. It is important that you believe in yourself that you can achieve what you want. If you truly want to be a teacher, work hard and complete your B.A. degree with a subject that is taught in school. Then you can apply for B.Ed. Later, you can pursue your M.A. degree, too. Convince your father that being a teacher is a good profession and will get you a respected job in society.

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