He doesn’t like to chat with me

I am 14 years old and I know this guy who used to study in my tuition class. After he left the class we started chatting online (before we never used to talk to each other). He admitted that he “like me” and wanted to be in a relationship. I declined saying that we were too young. We became good friends and texted each other every day. But after a few weeks he texted me saying that he doesn’t like to chat with me and I am just “wasting his damn time”! And he said, “not to be rude but I am blocking you”! I was very hurt by his actions and because of this I cannot focus on my studies. Please help.

At the age of 14 you started chatting online with a guy who used to study in your tuition class. You “became good friends and texted each other every day” because he “wanted to be in a relationship”. With the passing of time he realized that much of his time was getting wasted and decided to stop this relationship. Now you are “very hurt” and “cannot focus” on your studies. You should learn from this experience not to hurry into online relationships at a very young age, because only words will be exchanged, not real knowledge and experience of each other. Love implies giving and taking, sacrificing, forgiving always and growing together each day. This cannot be done online.


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I am really confused

I am 21 years old and I am preparing for my CA final exams. I am in a happy relationship with a guy but unable to focus on my studies. We frequently meet each other because of which I get less time to study and the course demands 12-13 hours study time. I really love him and don’t want to break our relationship. I am really confused about what I should do. Please help me out so that my studies don’t get affected by this.

You are no more a teenager and are preparing for your final CA exams. In this important period of your life which “demands 12-13 hours study time” every day you frequently meet a guy with whom you are “in a happy relationship” which you “don’t want to break”. The problem is that this situation has a negative impact on you as you are unable to focus on your studies. Probably he too must be experiencing the same. At this point of your life you should realize that in a relationship what matters is not the quantity of time spent together, rather the quality. A few moments spent together sharing your life situation and your plans for the future are more important than a long time spent together just looking into each other’s eyes. You are acting like an infatuated teenager not like a responsible adult.


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I think he likes me

I’m a 13-year-old-girl. I love someone in my class but he loves someone else. He talks to me and shares his problems with me, which he doesn’t do with his girlfriend. I think he likes me but how can I be sure?

At the age of 13 it is easy to get confused between loving someone and liking someone. ‘Love is a deep commitment of mind and heart with a chosen one who shares the same values. Liking someone is often related to physical attraction and related feelings. Try to enter into good friendships with many young people of your age and do not get involved in other people’s relationships.


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I think about him all the time

I am 16 years old. A few months ago I met a boy on Facebook who is 6 months older than me. We became really good friends and gradually began talking on the phone. I started liking him and he knows about it. But in the past few days he started ignoring me and I felt really bad about it. Now that he has his exams we hardly talk on the phone. I am finding it really difficult to concentrate on my studies as I keep thinking about him all the time. I don’t know if this is infatuation or just so-called hormonal changes. Please help me out so that my studies don’t get affected by this.

What you are feeling for that boy whom you met on Facebook and with whom you had a few talk on the phone is clearly an example of infatuation. You would like to have his full attention and “keep thinking about him all the time”. If he ignores you for a few days you feel “really bad about it” and find it very difficult to concentrate on your studies. At your age the confusion of infatuation with true love is quite common. Infatuation is an exciting experience but can be quite troublesome, because it makes people totally depressed if rejected by the one they feel in love with. It also makes people ineffective as other activities are suspended and only daydreaming about the loved one matters. Stop daydreaming and turn your mind and heart to your loving family, your duties as a student, your beautiful friendships with people of your age. Last, but not the least, turn your heart and mind to God who loves you and gave you life.


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Should listen to my friend?

I am in love with a guy who has just proposed to me. But I have two best friends who don’t trust him at all. Now one of them trusts him but the other still doesn’t. She says that he will cheat on me. But in his school he broke his hand while playing a dare just for me. Should I listen to my friend or should I continue with him since he loves me very much.

At the age of 14 you have just opened your mind and heart to a relationship with a boy your age who proposed to you. Now you are confused as one of your friends trusts him while another says that he will cheat on you. From your side you feel that you are in love with him. Since at your very young age you cannot commit yourself to a permanent relationship, the best thing you can do is to propose to him to start just a friendly relationship with him. This will give you time to know him better and for him to know you. Your future is in the hands of God.


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Both of us love each other a lot

I love a guy a lot and he loves me too. I am one year younger than him. The problem is that after a few months he will be going to another state far away from me. I am confused about whether I should remain in a relationship with him or not. Both of us love each other a lot. What should I do?

You are just 15 and that boy is 16. In a few months he will be going to another state. You are now confused about whether to continue this relationship or to stop it. The best you can do is to propose to keep in touch as good friends and share your joys and sorrows as friends do. Friendship is important at all stages of life, but is particularly crucial during the teen years when a sense of insecurity dominates emotions and feelings. Adolescents are undergoing profound changes from complete dependence from their parents to an unstable independence. Their inner SELF is constantly changing and undergoing formation. No serious and permanent commitment is possible at this age.


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She is like a sister to me

I’ve a very good friend who’s just like a sister to me. She’s is the only one I can trust in this world. But I’ve many flaws in me and that creates a lot of problems between us. I recently met a boy, who was in my class some years ago, on a social networking site. We became friends and entered into a relationship; I didn’t tell her but she guessed it. And she felt really bad. We are good friends again but I can feel that the warmth is missing now. I really love and want my sister back. I can’t imagine myself without her because I am not close to anyone else, not even my family. Please help me out.

It is painful to read that you are “not close to anyone, not even your family” and that your friend is the only one you can trust in this world. Your parents brought you in this world, love you and take care of your education. They would be very upset if they come to know about that. Fix your priorities in life and do not run after dreams of “love” about which you have no experience.


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My friend was addicted to betting

My friend was addicted to betting. He owes 2 lakh rupees to some people. He is studying in college and he can’t ask his parents for help. What can I do for him? He is my best friend. I care for him and I love him so much that I can’t let him be in trouble!

A college student who is addicted to betting and “owes 2 lakh rupees to some people” is definitely in trouble, because “he can’t ask his parents for help”. His parents do not know about his addiction and may be in a difficult financial situation. You, too, who cares for him and love him cannot do anything., your friend should have the courage to tell the truth to his family and find a solution along with them. You just cannot do anything.


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I have feelings both for girls and for boys

I am a girl, but I have feelings both for girls and for boys. It is very confusing. I don’t understand my sexuality. And I’m scared to talk about this. I’m scared that people will start rejecting me. I don’t really know if I’m bisexual. Please help.

At the age of 15 your sexuality is not yet fully matured and it is possible to experience confusion in relationships. After a few years you will mature your feelings and emotions. There is no need for you to worry now about your sexual identity. If you face any problem in future you can trust the opinion of your parents or of an experienced counsellor.


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I am not able to forget my past

I met a guy 2 years ago and I had a kind of attraction towards him from the very first day. Then 2 months after meeting, he proposed to me and we were in a relationship for about one and a half year. Then due to some reasons we broke up. After about 6 months he again proposed to me and apologized for his mistakes and I totally believed him. Two months later, I learned that he was cheating me and he was in a relationship with another girl. I was completely broken. Meanwhile, I met a guy who was very caring and was possessive about me. We used to spend maximum time together. He proposed to me but because of my past I am not able to trust anyone anymore. I am not able to forget my past or able to live my present. Please help.

At the age of 13 you felt “a kind of attraction” towards a boy. Attraction is mainly caused by a physical emotion towards a person of the opposite sex. It has nothing to do with love or a true friendship; in fact, after one and a half years your relationship broke up. After patching up with him you came to know that he was in a relationship with another girl. Friendly relationships come and go during the teenage. An exclusive love commitment is not possible and not advisable at your age. Therefore, there is no need of getting “completely broken” about it. The fact that in the meantime you met a boy who is “possessive” about you is not a positive experience. A free relationship with mutual respect is the best at your age. Learn from your past not to be emotional and possessive in your relationships and live your present with trust and confidence in your friends.


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I wish to pursue a degree in Indology.

I am a student of Std XI and wish to pursue a degree in Indology. I would like to know which institutions in India provide this curse.

Indology is the study of history, culture, languages and literature of the Indian subcontinent. It is supported by an analysis of textual sources written in an Indian language, of iconographic sources or of any other document.

Specifically, Indology includes the study of Sanskrit literature and Hinduism along with the other Indian religions, namely Jainism, Buddhism and Pali Literature, and Sikhism.

Study in Indology is useful for those interested in understanding the nature and dynamics of Indian culture and society, particularly to teachers of higher educational institutions, journalists and other media persons, and those pursuing careers in tourism, archaeology and museums.

Very few institutes offer courses in this field. Some of these include School of Indology, Nalanda Open University, Patna; Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan’s Centre of Indology, New Delhi; Krishna Institute of Indology, Bngalore; Shri Balmukund Lohia Centre of Sanskrit and Indological Studies, Tilak Maharashtra Vidyapeeth, Pune.


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I want to be a military nurse.

I want to be a military nurse. If I do a B.Sc. here in my native place how can I get in to AFMC for further degrees? I have searched AFMC sites but this has created a lot of confusion. Please help.

Armed Forces Medical College (AFMC), Pune offers B.SC. (Nursing), for which eligibility is 10+2 with three years diploma in General Nursing Midwifery with minimum two years experience in the profession. Selection is through written examination, followed by an interview.


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I want to pursue a career in Geology

I’m a student of Std XI with PCB. I want to pursue a career in Geology. Which are the best colleges which offer B.Sc. in Geology in India for students with PCB?

Geology is the science that studies the earth’s history, composition and structure. Some of the institutes offering B.Sc. in Geology are Fergusson College, Pune; University of Calcutta, Kolkata; Bangalore; Banaras Hindu University, Varanasi; University of Delhi; Jiwaji University, Gwalior, MS University of Baroda, Vadodara.


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I love Chemistry but I don’t know which courses I should do for a research programme in Chemistry

I am studying in Std X. I love Chemistry but I don’t know which courses I should do for a research programme in Chemistry. Besides this I have another problem; I always feel that I should become a doctor which is our hereditary occupation. My parents always say: “We have such a big hospital for you, if you don’t become a doctor what will happen?” What should I do?

In order to do research, a Ph.D. is generally needed. For that, first complete 10+2, then go for B.Sc. (Hons.) in Chemistry followed by M.Sc. M.Phil. and then Ph.D., a minimum of 10-12 years of more study.

If you enter into medicine, you still have to study for 9-10 years. Your parents wish for your happiness. After completing your studies in medicine, you need not go out and look for a job, rather join them and help in running the hospital. You still have two more years to decide whether to go for medicine or specialized study in Chemistry.


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I want to do IIT

I’m a student of Std VIII. I want to do IIT. What should my plans be to get a good rank in it? How should I study in order to crack it and which books would you suggest for maths, physics and chemistry?

Getting into the IITs is the dream of almost every student and be IITJEE Entrance Exam is the most sought after competitive exam. There are around 10k seats in the IITs and lakhs of students complete for them every year. So, the level of competition is very high and one must have a strong preparation plan in place. JEE needs systematic preparation. Most of the problems asked are application-based questions and requires you to apply the theoretical concepts to solve it. Hence, “Conceptual Clarity” is important to crack the nut. Mugging up/cramming is not what is expected in JEE entrance and it’s no way going to help you to score top ranks.

Usually, the school curriculum does not cover the kind of preparation required for the IIT JEE entrance exam. Board exams test you with basic knowledge while the JEE entrance tests you on your deeper understanding levels of each topic and concept.

The earlier you start, the more time you would get to learn, revise and practice! By starting an early preparation, your mind gets stimulated, gains confidence, and you will also get ample time to practice.

For the next 1-2 years you can focus on self-study; later you may join some good coaching classes. Good coaching centres/institutes give students an edge in analytical and problem-solving skills, which helps students crack competitive exams with ease.

And to score top ranks in JEE you need regular practice. You need to do a lot of self-study in the form of concept reinforcement, problem-solving. It’s not difficult to clear JEE, provided your concepts are clear and you are able to apply them properly. There are no secrets to success. It’s all the result of preparation, hard work and learning from mistakes.


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